


The Blue Paladin

by Cheetahtwo



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game), Steven Universe (Cartoon), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: All Mafia Lance One-shots are connected together, Ch.1: What if Lance's family was actually fucking dead, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Dead by Daylight au, Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Hanahaki Disease, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance with PTSD, Langst, M/M, MafiaBoss!Lance, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Parental Blue Lion (Voltron), Steven Universe crossover, i'll add tags and stuff as i go, klangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheetahtwo/pseuds/Cheetahtwo
Summary: Lance McClain is so much more than just the seventh wheel.One-shots of the (former) blue paladin, I take a different perspective of who Lance really is. From Lance actually being the most wanted man in Cuba to a corrupted gem warrior that saved the world, we can together find out just how much one homesick kid can take before breaking.Also, Lance gets the appreciation he deserves, so that's nice too.





	1. Family (Mob!Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance always wanted to be a hero.

Lance didn't come from a perfect family.

Don't get him wrong, his family was very loving, but his family ties were... Less than loving.

Lance came from a family of seven, him being the oldest, thus having the most responsibility for all of his younger brothers and sisters. His father was always gone handling the... family business, so it was just Lance and his Mama, taking care of six little diablos that always wanted to play or scream or run around.

Lance loved every one of his family members. They were a family of joy and chaos, always singing together and helping their dear Mama with chores and cooking. The two youngest, identical twin boys, were the biggest trouble makers of the family. Though Lance always predicted that the eighth child, still in his Mama's tummy, would outrank everyone on their devilish scale. The twins would always say, "Nu-uh! No one can beat us!" and then make sure Lance would have a handful from them the rest of the day.

Things got REALLY hectic when Papa came home though, still in his suit and a cigar in his mouth as he was tackled to the ground his his seven children yelling and hollering their joy of their king being home. Even Lance couldn't help himself as he joined in the hoots and hugs, excited to talk to his Papa about how well he was doing in school. The oldest especially loved the man's laugh, sharp but warm as his heart as he ruffled hair and puffed from his cigar.

The only time things were strained was when his father sat Lance down to try to talk to him about becoming his apprentice. Lance didn't like to think of his father as 'old', and besides, taking over the family business never appealed to Lance as it did his brothers and sisters.

"No Papa! I don't want to be the boss! I wanna be a hero among the stars!"

Lance wasn't ignorant of his father's work. He knew that his father sent people to kill others and steal fortunes; he knew that his own father hurt innocents too. Lance didn't want to be the head of the corruption his father created, he wanted a new start to his family blood. A start that would make people cheer at the name of 'McClain' instead of cower.

The two men fought at shouted at each other that night, their family looking on in fear that the two would start hurting each other. Papa was nice to his children and wife, but tended to get out of hand when angry; but he didn't strike at his son, instead the two parted ways in fury, neither able to stand the sight of the other.

It was a quiet night.

 

Papa the next morning had to leave early, despite his family begging him not to leave. He assured them that he just had to finish some unfinished business and he'd be back as soon as he could, and made sure to give every child a kiss and a hug, and his wife a loud smooch that made his children cringe. To accommodate for their PDA, he then sweetly rubbed her tummy, a proud grin on his face. Papa then walked over to Lance, the oldest stiffening in fear of what he might say, but the father only smiled, and kissed Lance's forehead sweetly.

"Stay brave, mijo."

Lance promised he would always be brave, even when the world around him shook. His father smiled and laughed his gorgeous laugh, slapping Lance's back and getting into his car. Papa waved at his family before pulling out of the driveway.

And onto the bomb planted in the dirt.

Lance could only remember the screams of his little brothers and sisters, and the flying shrapnel of Papa's car hitting the house and onto the bodies outside. He could hear his Mama's screams over everyone else's over her husband, and then even louder as she saw her children getting hit by the dangerous debris. Lance remembered trying to protect the twins with his own body, the searing pain of hot metal piercing into his back as he held the boys close to him, their sobs and whimpers loud in his ears. A numbing pain climbed up his back, his own tears pouring down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt his legs give out as he tried to take deep breaths, still cradling the boys in his arms. This wasn't the end of it.

Lance heard other voices echo in his ears, voices that was not his families. They apologized for doing this to them, but apparently they were assigned to do so. He heard his mother beg them not to do it; he heard his siblings start to sob and scream even more. Lance stiffened in fear and shock as he heard a slew of gunshots from behind him, his family screaming and falling to the ground. The twins let out cries as they leaped out of Lance's arms and ran to their fallen mother, and soon they joined the bodies. Lance felt bullets enter his back, barely missing his spine but still causing incredible amounts of pain. 

Lance didn't know what to do. He sat on his knees, staring at his family gazing sightless in the sky. He saw men on his driveway, holding large guns and staring at him. Lance remembers opening his mouth to say something, anything, but the pain was too much. The darkness was so comforting, so he felt himself fall onto ground to join his family in the stars. 

Lance died at the age of 13.

 

\----(Nah man he didn't die tho)----

 

Lance remembered first hearing the beeping of the heart monitor, opening his eyes to see himself in a hospital room. An IV was attached to his arm, pumping morphine into his bloodstream. He let out a small breath of air, as if testing if he was somehow still alive. Fresh air transmitted by a tube in his nose breathed life into his lungs, and he stifled a sob as memories flooded back into his mind. 

His family was dead; his sweet Mama, his Papa, all six of his rascal siblings. 

He was alone.

He wished he was with them.

The door opened and Lance saw a nurse and a man in a black suit enter the room. The man conversed with the nurse before the worker left, leaving the man alone with Lance. Sighing softly, the man sat in the chair next to Lance's bedpost, and introduced himself to being Papa's right-hand man. He explained that the attack on Lance's family was from a rival crime band, wanting to get Papa and any potential heirs to his mob. 

"Jokes on them," The man chuckled, "They didn't kill the first child of the man they wanted out of the picture."

Lance foggily thought about the last conversation he had with his Papa, about taking over the family business. He supposed that he owed his father his last wish, did he not? He'd be doing it for his Papa, for his siblings. Sure, he was young, but Lance was a very fast learner. His Papa even started teaching him how to shoot a gun when Lance was 10 years old. He'd get the hang of things quick. He'd be a good successor to the crime boss. 

"For my family," Lance choked out, holding his hand out to the man. The suited gentleman smiled, taking out his hand and shaking the wounded boy's own.

"For the McClain family."

 

\------(Lance is a hot crime boss and no one will tell me otherwise)------

 

Lance was 16 and with three years of torture execution under his pocket, and six years of shooting bullseyes from miles away (given the correct gun, that is). It was hard at first, getting used to the fact that Lance was now one of the most wanted men in Cuba, but the members of his mob made it seem worth it. He knew almost everyone's names, and had some kind of connection with every one of them. His right-hand man made things a lot more simple than it could have been, easing his anxieties about being basically the Godfather (that is, if he was in Italy).

But Lance was so tired.

So, so tired.

He never wanted to be a crime boss. He never wanted to fear that he'd get captured and tortured for information. He didn't want to fear that he'd close his eyes and then meet his family up above sooner than he wanted. He was tired of having to get up on ungodly hours to interrogate a possible snitch, and possibly cut off a finger or two. He might have taken for granted that he didn't have to be the one killing anyone, but he has long since grown numb to the look of absolute terror in a victim's eyes every time they stare into his cold blue eyes. 

He has never forgotten his childhood dream of becoming a hero; to see the stars up so close that he could possibly reach and touch them. 

He wouldn't mind dying in space. 

So when his right-hand man came through the doors with a large grin on his face and something behind his back, Lance couldn't help but be suspicious. 

"¿Que Pasa?" Lance asked, only causing the man to grin wider. His right-hand man revealed some sort of brochure and handed it to Lance. His eyes widened at the title, immediately opening the paper up and reading with immense concentration. 

"Why would you give me this, Anton?" Lance questioned, his throat contracting at the thought of the Garrison. He would give anything to go, but...

"Jefe, I know you hate being here. I want you to be where you want to be." 

"But I can't-"

"Yes you can, Lance. This is no place for you, you deserve to be in the stars, like you want."

Lance felt tears gather in his eyes as he stood from his chair, walking over to Anton and hugging him strongly. The right-hand man chuckled, squeezing back just as tightly.

"Stay kind, Jefe."

Lance promised him to be kind, even when no one else will.

The two laughed together, Lance wiping away his tears and began packing for his adventure.

He'd make his family proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests are accepted AND appreciated!


	2. Small Lion (Klance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Voltron team gets a new member, and Keith isn't very happy about it.

"Keith"

"No"

"Keith please"

"Lance I said _no_ " The blue paladin pouted at his boyfriend, holding up the golden fluff-ball even closer to him. Keith growled and rubbed the bridge of his nose as Lance gave his full-blown puppy eyes, the kitten in his hands mewling softly.

"Lance, stop it"

"Keith! This little girl has nowhere to go! We have to keep her!"Lance whined loudly, causing the red paladin to groan in frustration. He knew that Lance was a big softie for animals, but this was taking it too far.

"Lance, we can't have cats in the castle. They'd get lost and die."

"Not if I keep her in our room!"

"No Lance, that's final." Just when Lance was about to sigh in defeat and put the little girl down, the two men heard Pidge's squeal of excitement.

"Lance! Where did you get that kitten?!" The green paladin quickly ran up to Lance and examined the kitten as if it was the only thing in the world. "Oh my gosh, we have to take her home with us!"

"I know right?!" Lance's own happiness bubbled over as the two cooed and petted the animal, Keith sighing.

"Guys, we can't keep-"

"Is that a kitten?" Keith looked over to Shiro, who was currently holding at least twenty things from the space mall and Hunk eating something from one of the bags. Finally, someone can talk some sense into them.

"Shrio, tell them that we cannot possibly keep a cat in the castle!" Keith the black paladin tilted his head, as if in thought. Lance and Pidge fearfully hugged the kitten between them, the golden baby mewling in protest. Shiro's gaze softened, and Keith stood horrified as the leader walked over and scratched the kitten's chin with his robotic finger.

"I don't see why we can't. As long as you guys take good care of her." The blue and green paladins nodded with vigor and squealed happily to each other, the kitten seeming to understand their excitement and mewling with them. Keith felt like banging his head against the wall, groaning loudly as his boyfriend and Pidge started immediately talking about names. Shiro gave all the bags to Hunk who yelped in surprise, and walked back into the markets supposedly to get cat stuff for the new member of Voltron.

"I can't believe we just got a cat." Keith muttered.

 

Keith sat on the couch glowering at the small animal Lance was currently playing with, the kitten whimsically swatting at the ball of yarn that Shiro had bought. Keith's boyfriend seemed just as entranced as the ball of fluff, sometimes poking the yarn towards the kitten to encourage her to try to tackle it. Every time she did, the blue paladin would seem to break down, cooing and 'aww'ing at the baby cat and scratch her ears in happiness. Everyone was happy about the new addition to their family, but not Keith. Keith was not happy at all.

"Keith, are you seriously jealous of a kitten?" The red paladin jumped in surprise as Pidge laughed at him, jumping onto the couch to nudge Keith teasingly.

"N-No!" Keith stuttered, trying to keep his cool in front of the green paladin. "I'm not jealous at all! Why would you-" He was interrupted by Lance's squealing again, Keith grimacing and causing Pidge to break into a smug grin.

"You _are_ " Keith growled angrily, crossing his arms and looking away.

"So what if I am then?!" He snapped, feeling his negativity boil over. "Lance hasn't been paying attention to me ever since we got that annoying thing!"

"Why don't you just ask Lance to pay attention to you more? He's _your_ boyfriend." Pidge snickered, Keith giving them a blank glare. "Unless you want the kitten to steal Lance completely, I suggest that you do something about it." Keith, being himself, rose to the challenge, literally. Standing up, the red paladin skulked over to where Lance was being enamoured by the small cat, and was promptly grabbed by Keith and tugged to their room. Ignoring the blue paladin's confused shouting and threats to let him go, Keith threw Lance onto the bed (quite easily, may he add) and joined his boyfriend soon after. Lance was about to question Keith again before being wrapped in a tight hug and was spooned.

"Keith-"

"Shut up and cuddle me." Lance's boyfriend interrupted, a low growl erupting from his throat when the blue paladin tried wiggling to get out. Lance sighed, giving up and hugging Keith, making the red paladin sigh happily and nuzzle into his boyfriend's neck. The two men laid there together on the bed, Lance deep in thought as he unconsciously ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. Keith honest to god started purring, curling more around Lance and his boyfriend to chuckle.

"You want to tell me why you suddenly want some cuddle time?" Lance asked, Keith stiffening a bit before relaxing again as the blue paladin rubbed his head affectionately.

"You're spending too much time with that thing. It's taking your time away from you." Lance's eyes widening, a smug grin appearing on his lips as he started to laugh.

"You're jealous of the stray kitten we took in?!"

"Stop laughing!" Keith groaned, irritated that his boyfriend refused to calm down from his chuckling. Lance finally settled himself to giggling, lifting Keith's head from his neck to kiss him sweetly on the lips. The red paladin blushed and kissed back, and when they broke apart he nuzzled back into Lance's neck, mumbling in embarrassment.

"It's stupid now that you say it." Keith grumbled, making Lance give a short laugh before planting another kiss on his boyfriend's temple.

"Trust me babe, nothing will ever take all of my attention from you." Lance hummed, making Keith somehow curl even more around him.

"You better stick to your word."

"I promise."

Lance always stuck to his promises.

 

Bonus: "So what should we name her?" Lance asked while scratching the kitten's ears, Keith sitting next to him as the cat purred on his lap.

"Red."

"Keith, we're not naming our cat after your lion." Lance's boyfriend huffed, before going into deep thought. At least, what Lance hoped was deep thought.

"Allura."

"Keith, no."

"Pidge?"

"Keith-"

"What about Katie?" Pidge apparently overheard the boyfriends' bickering, the two men turning to look at her in surprise. The green paladin smiled, sitting next to Lance's other side and stroking the kitten's back. "My brother always liked that name." Keith nodded, eyes averting back to the small golden animal on his lap. Lance grinned, wrapping an arm around Pidge and Keith and hugged them close to him.

"We're one big happy family!" Lance cheered, making Pidge laugh and Keith sigh, but smiling nonetheless.

They really were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests are read AND appreciated!


	3. Pretend (Mob!Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is no stranger to hiding his emotions. (Mafia Lance)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just warning now: Lance has severe PTSD and doesn't get help for it. Save the baby blue child.

 

" _Mijo_!"

Exhausted eyes shot open, a loud gasp escaping his lips as he sat up from his bed. A cold sweat had taken his body captive, what once an inescapable heat covering his skin was now freezing over and leaving him nearly crying from the disgusting cold. Lance felt empty and gross, sweat sliding down his forehead and neck to give him the feeling that he just came out of the ocean. A frozen, sticky ocean. Wiping his face in disgust, Lance checked the clock that read midnight, his body still shaking from the nightmare that refused to let him rest peacefully. The terror was nothing new, but today's was more intense than usual. More blood, more limbs.

More screams. 

Lance groaned, rubbing his eyes to rid the sleep gathering in the corners. There was no way he was falling asleep again today, especially after what his mind showed him what it had created. Yawning, he got up from the sweat-soaked bed, and made his way to the showers to wash away the nightmare that clung to his body. He absent-mindedly heard another pair of footsteps in the halls, but he paid it no mind as he entered the shower rooms, stripping off his clingy clothes and stepping into the warm water. Lance sighed, finally relaxing under the stream and allowed it to soak his skin. 

Although he couldn't be farther from Earth, the fear of the planet followed him everywhere. Though training at the Garrison managed to scrub away most of the horror of what happened to him, Lance doubted he'd ever forget that day with intensity. He never told anyone about his past, or the fact that he was a crime boss in Cuba (more like THE crime boss, and the youngest one in fact), and it seemed to work in his favor the fact that everyone seemed to have a story. No one really cared where you came from before you entered the Garrison, where you ended up is what mattered.

Even with that in mind, Lance still had to create a mask for everyone around him. He didn't really want anyone to know that he singlehandedly made the President of Cuba sob like a child as his fingers were cut off. So instead he pronounced himself as the ditsy Latino boy who barely got in the Garrison by the skin of his teeth. Just a stupid kid with big dreams that only got in because their top pilot dropped out.

Cargo pilot his _ass_ , even with the mask on Lance wouldn't have allowed them to shove him to any job class lower than he wanted. He would've given them hell to pay. Though he really couldn't do anything about the jeering towards him about the fact that he may or not be bad at flying. It's not his fault that he's a little bit hesitant to be in a giant hunk of metal after what happened to his Papa. 

At least he found friends there, like Hunk and Pidge. Pidge was nerdy and adorable and Hunk was just a gentle giant like Anton. The two always reminded Lance of his family, a fact that he made sure they knew and loved. He never told them that his family was dead (or rather, gruesomely blown up and the survivors gunned down) either, just that they were waiting for him to join them after he was done with his future. Which was true in some sense, you could say. Lance did like to think that they were watching over him in the stars, guiding him on his journey.

Lance never anticipated to start piloting a giant-ass lion and to literally be a hero among the stars like he dreamed of in his childhood. Blue was such a beautiful girl too, always willing to listen to Lance at a moment's notice. He told her stuff that he never thought he'd tell anyone ever again. He felt so safe with the lioness, and felt a strong maternal bond with her like he did with his own mother. Blue had even taken to calling him 'little cub' as a nickname, and whenever he felt like breaking down she'd guide him to her, allowing him to shed the heavy tears in her cockpit as she purred reassuringly. When he stopped crying and put himself back together, he'd pat Blue's mantle and give her a big smile, and tell everyone that Blue wanted to talk, like usual. He hated making excuses for himself and Blue, but he couldn't put away the mask he made so carefully made for the Garrison, for Voltron.

He was afraid of what would happen if they found out; if they knew what he'd been through and what he has _done_. The lives he's taken. The lives he's tortured. The lives that he made scream and _beg to make it stop_ -

"Lance?"

Lance turned around sharply, only now noticing the tears that joined the cooling water in the shower. Seeing Keith at the entrance to the bathing rooms with a look of concern on his face made Lance flush with embarrassment. Keith was probably the last person Lance had ever wanted to catch him crying in the shower. The list went from bad to worse, but Shiro might've been a lot less embarrassing to encounter. 

Just Lance's luck, then.

"O-Oh, hey!" Lance forced himself to crack a smile, turning back around to hide his face (and his front body, let's say) from the red paladin. "What can I do for ya, mullet head?"

"It's late. And you've been in there for a long time." Keith responded. Lance snorted, reaching over to the shampoo and squirting a helping of the soap onto his hand, beginning to scrub his hair clean.

"Aw, were you worried about little ol' me, Keith? That's sweet." The words dripped out of Lance's like honey, however it left a bitter taste in his mouth. To be honest, he didn't mind Keith as much as he said that he hated him. It was just the fact that the red paladin didn't seem to see just how talented he was, and the fact that the whole Garrison seemed to enjoy in reminding Lance how if it wasn't for Keith getting kicked out, the blue paladin wouldn't have had a chance in being pilot.

Call it jealousy if you must, but to Lance it was more that he hated how ignorant Keith was, and how he couldn't think beyond where the next fight was. Complete opposite to Lance himself, who spent years learning how to think steps ahead of a plan, always watching and waiting and knowing exactly when the enemy will appear and _die_. He grew up with patience and stoic-ness in his blood, while Keith was an explosion of emotions and instincts that controlled him more than his own thoughts did.

Lance was a calm yet dangerous river, waiting to catch its prey the second they fall into his grip.

Keith was a flame, devouring everyone in its path and destroying everything as it grows.

Lance could see why he disliked the red paladin, but opted to create a rivalry instead. A one-sided rivalry was much easier than actually fighting Keith, Lance mused. Life was easier and less stress-inducing when Lance was bickering with Keith anyways; it reminded the blue paladin of the times he play fought with the twins, always wrangling them to do their chores or to eat their dinner. Even if he couldn't ever have those times back, he supposed he could create new, less painful memories with Voltron. 

After all, the Paladins was the only thing Lance had close to resembling a family.

"You haven't been sleeping well lately." Keith broke Lance out of his thoughts, his comment making Lance plaster another fake smile. Lance never had a good night's sleep after that day.

"I'll be fine," Lance cooed, "I've been through worse than just a restless night." With a wink towards the red paladin, Lance turned off the shower-head and wrapped a towel around his waist and made his way out of the bathrooms. He snickered at Keith as he passed, reaching over and ruffling the red paladin's hair, causing the mullet-head to protest angrily. 

"Lance-!"

"I'm fine, Keith." Lance interrupted him, not wanting to hold up the mask for much longer. Lance was exhausted and just wanted to be alone with his thoughts for now. His memories and Blue were the only ones who kept him company these days, and he didn't really want to change that.  When he reached his room door however, he felt a warm hand grab his shoulder and turn him around to face Keith, who's look of  concern seemed to grow more on the red paladin's face. It twisted the knots in Lance's stomach harder, as he didn't like Keith being so worried about anything, much less Lance. Lance should be the least-worried about. 

"No secrets between us, right?" Lance could feel his mask crack under Keith's words, and for a moment the blue paladin felt his face turn into a frown, well-hidden tears threatening to appear. Keith's face opened in realization, before the moment was gone and Lance easily took over his emotions again and forced a reassuring grin on his face.

"Right." Lance lied, brushing off Keith's comforting grip despite his instincts telling him to just let go. He quickly got into his room, closing the door behind him and sliding down onto the ground. He sat in silence, the static in his head and heart covering his senses until he heard Keith's footsteps getting quieter and quieter. When he was sure that Keith was gone, he finally released the wrappings on his wounds, and put down the mask to allow the memories come flooding back in.

Everything was hurting.

Screams in his ears dulled the pain somewhat, as Lance felt adrenaline course through his veins and told him to run. Lance felt tremors take over his body, his breathing picking up as he shook. Red swept across his vision for a moment before he saw them again, all laying together around him. He felt their blood staining his body, and Lance doubted he'd ever be able to wash away the feeling of death on him.  A muted sob escaped Lance's throat as he curled up on himself, seeing nothing but the barren wasteland that was once his home and the bodies and scrap that littered the grass. He only saw the blood that pooled around him, the unseeing eyes that seemed to glare at him. The unspoken fear and questions that surrounded their bodies and whispering in Lance's ears. 

Black figures appeared from the corner of the boy's eye, holding the guns and explosives that took his family away from him. They were grinning as they opened their mouths to say _sorry_. Sorry meant nothing. Just a ploy to feign innocence and guilt. It means nothing, nothing.

_Nothing_.

Blood drooled out of the boy's mouth as he mumbled out curses and sobs. He started to beg to make it stop, to just kill him already, but the figures merely continued apologizing with those sickening grins on their faces. Lance couldn't scream, as when he did the metallic taste filled his throat and spurted out from his mouth. Lance choked on the liquid as he managed to release a cry, his face wet from his tears that continuously streaked down his face. 

As fast as the memory came, it disappeared, leaving Lance dry-heaving and sobbing his heart out. He was surprised that no one had heard him crying, but some part of him believed that they just simply did not care. The thought caused Lance to gasp for another breath, one of his hands reaching over to the desk to grab his father's jacket, the one that Lance nearly wore every second of his life. Lance clung to it like a lifeline, rasps of broken air turning into uneasy inhales and exhales. 

_"Be brave, mijo."_

Lance promised.

_"Stay kind, Jefe."_

Lance swore. 

The boy was in his bed before he knew it, his nightgown wrapped around his body and his jacket still gripped tightly by his hand. He couldn't stop shaking, but he kept breathing slow, deep breaths to calm himself. At some point Lance had closed his eyes, his shaking ceasing as darkness took over his vision and cradled him in its soft arms.

As Lance fell asleep, someone opened the door to his room, cautiously creeping over to the sleeping blue paladin before picking up the blanket on the floor. Gingerly draping the blue blanket onto Lance, the figure stood there for a few moment, as if hesitating. Then, as soft as a dove, the figure pressed a kiss on the blue paladin's head, before quickly retreating, a blush flushing on their face. 

"I'll help you, I promise." The figure murmured, hiding their face in embarrassment but determination filling their body. 

Lance slept soundly for the first times in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests are wanted AND appreciated!


	4. Hanahaki (Klangst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a one-sided crush, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting everyone know, I'll be doing a Mob!Lance one-shot every other chapter or so, just to keep the ideas flowing :)

Lance once loved flowers.

Flowers were a sign of life in any world or universe; it brought happiness to small children making flower crowns, and were given to lovers as a sign of appreciation and adoration.

A plant of love and happiness.

The thought almost made Lance snicker before he gagged over the toilet, blood and bile exiting his mouth as his lungs contracted in attempt to get rid of its invaders. Lance could feel the thorns of the flower in his throat, the beautiful petals pushing against the roof of his mouth. It hurt so much; but Lance knew that if he didn't do this, the flowers would asphyxiate him from the inside.

All for just a stupid crush.

With one more heave, a blood-stained rose finally exited his body, along with clumps of red, sweet-smelling petals that fluttered from Lance's mouth and onto the ground around him. Lance coughed, his rasps much stronger than they were a few days ago. Although, more and more flowers were growing inside Lance's lungs lately; it was getting harder to excuse himself from activities with the team without them noticing his frequent disappearances. He'd get through it though; Lance solved his problems quietly and out of sight, so the team wouldn't have to worry about him. He was supposed to be the cheery one of Voltron, always cracking jokes and puns that made the group giggle and groan around him. He was supposed to bicker and rival with Keith; always getting into trouble with him on the off chance that they actually got along for once.

Keith, the red paladin.

Keith, the best pilot on the team.

Keith.

Lance choked as another rose blocked his airways again, making him collapse back onto the toilet to vomit another dose of blood and petals before the full flower slide out of his mouth like a thorned snake. Lance was shaking with exhaustion and pain, and a raspy sob managed to tremor out of him before he collapsed onto the ground, bits and pieces of the beautiful flower surrounding him.

It was a well known fact that the Hanahaki disease was a killer; and to all intelligent species, not just humans. Coran seemed very engrossed in the science behind the disease, usually studying flowers that bloomed in people's lungs and trachea and were effectively removed.

_'It's marvelous, the fact that we create flowers from our feelings!'_ Coran had cheered.

Lance was so tired. He was so tired and heartbroken and sick of _being_ heartbroken. He just wanted to get over this dumb one-sided crush and move on with his life. He wanted to stop dying of being love sick. What a horrible way to go, right? Lance would've been okay dying for saving his teammates, or die blowing up Zarkon's ship and taking the Galra leader with him in a fiery explosion that everyone would cry over but be ultimately happy that Lance did it. Or maybe just dying in Keith's arms would've been great too.

But instead, he's going to die on the floor of the bathroom.

If only Shiro didn't ask Keith out. If only Keith didn't say yes with such a bright smile on his face. If only they didn't look so _happy_ together. If only they didn't make the perfect team together. If only Lance didn't have this stupid crush to begin with and just be happy for them.

If only Keith could see Lance's pain. Both mentally and physically.

But Lance will never let them see. Never.

"Lance? Buddy? You okay in there?"

Lance gasped softly at Hunk's voice from the door, his worried voice making Lance's heart ache. Hunk shouldn't have to worry about Lance. Lance shouldn't be worried about. He was the cheery one, dammit! Why couldn't he do his single job in Voltron?!

"I'm fine, Hunky Hunk! Just a stomach bug!" Lance said, forcing cheer into his voice and causing it to crack under pressure. Well, his throat has been torn to shreds by thorns, so he couldn't blame himself. Not too much, anyways.

"Do you need me to pick up some flu medicine next time we hit the space mall?" Hunk asked, clearly not persuaded by Lance's voice. Lance felt fear jump down his back as the door handle jiggled, thankful that he locked the door beforehand. "Can you unlock the door?"

"N-No!" Lance choked, feeling the bud of another rose bumping around in his throat. Gulping, Lance flushed the toilet, the roses escaping into the drain pipes and the blue paladin feebly tried cleaning up the ground full of rose petals and thorns. "It's-uh, pretty gross in here dude. I'll clean up then come out, okay?"

"Let me help! I don't care how gross it is, dude!" Hunk laughed, amused by Lance's near OCD to be cleanly, even while barfing up breakfast. At least, what he thought was breakfast.

"N-No, it's f-fine." Lance gasped, suddenly feeling very dizzy and weak. His throat was screaming in pain, the world around him turning red and blurry. "H-Hunk..." Lance didn't mean to speak his friend's name, though it could've been his mind's last ditch effort for asking for help.

But Lance didn't want help. Lance didn't deserve help.

Not for something so _stupid_ like a one-sided crush.

"Lance? Lance?!" Hunk's voice was echoing as the door was banged on, the yellow paladin's voice turning hysterical when Lance didn't respond. But Lance couldn't respond, because what felt like the biggest rose yet blossomed in his throat, thorns piercing his lungs and ripping themselves out of his flesh and skin. All Lance could respond with was a gurgle as he fell onto the floor, his vision allowing him to see the door swinging open before the rose pushed itself out of his mouth, its petals and thorns drenched in blood as a pool of the metallic liquid was already pooling around his head. Tears blurred his vision as he let out a terrified choke as he realized that it just wasn't Hunk that was at the door.

He could do nothing as Keith ran into the bathroom before Hunk could, the red paladin kneeling down and seeming to try to tug the flower out of Lance's mouth. The agony of the large thorns ripping through his throat made Lance release another sob, causing Hunk to charge in and stop Keith from tearing his throat apart. Keith was crying, Lance realized, making the blue paladin's heart break in two.

Raising his hand, Lance gingerly placed it on Keith's cheek, stroking softly as the red paladin released a sob, nuzzling into the weak hand.

Like a cat. How cute.

Lance loved Keith with all his heart. His heart and lungs ached how he would never be able to tell him. Well, his lungs were aching from the fact that thorns had pierced them, but it was the emotional flowers that did it in the first place. If Lance had a different flower inside him, would he be dying right now also? Did people only die from the Hanahaki disease if they had roses in them?

No, they don't. Lance supposed he just got the short end of the stick for getting a flower with thorns. Surprisingly, Lance didn't really mind anymore that it was roses. Roses reminded Lance of Keith; beautiful, but untouchable without getting hurt. With gloves the roses don't hurt, but that was besides the point.

The shouts everyone made were just echoes and static except Keith's, who's voice was nothing but sobs and whispers. He was getting desperately tired now, but whenever Lance tried to close his eyes Keith would cry out, and Lance didn't want to make him shed tears anymore. He wanted Keith to be happy with Shiro and the rest of the team. Keith would be fine without Lance. He tried communicating this to Keith, but when he tried he could let out an agonized gurgle, blood leaking from where the large rose did not cover. Keith's shaking increased as he realized that Lance was trying to talk to him, and only held him closer as tears streamed down the red paladin's face.

"Don't go," Keith finally choked out, tears dripping onto Lance's face and flower, mixing with the blood to create pink streams that ran down Lance's neck. "Please, don't go." Lance exhaled softly, using the last bit of strength in his arm to bring him closer to Keith's head, their foreheads bumping softly as Lance closed his exhausted eyes. The blue paladin hoped that this would be enough to tell Keith how much he loved the red paladin, despite not being able to talk. He wanted Keith to know; he was going to die anyways, might as well get the feelings out there.

Surprisingly, Keith didn't pull away, instead Lance felt him press his head even closer, his mouth bumping into the large rose that took place of Lance's own. Keith's arms were wrapped tightly around Lance's neck and waist; his face was wet with tears but neither gave it much thought. Keith started murmuring something, causing Lance to open his eyes to foggily look at the red paladin in confusion. Keith met Lance's eyes, more tears springing up as the boy saw once bright blue eyes were turning glossy with death.

Keith scrunched his eyes closed, as if debating in his head to do something. Then, the red paladin pressed a kiss on Lance's forehead, the dying boy's own eyes widening in surprise and confusion. Suddenly, Keith was peppering Lance's face with small pecks, avoiding the flower as if not wanting to cause more pain. Lance was surprised that he wasn't dead yet, but this felt like a pat on the back from God for surviving this long. What Keith said next nearly made Lance pass out in shock (or blood loss).

"I love you," Keith whispered, staring back into Lance's widening eyes. "I don't love Shiro, I love you. I fucked up. I want to be with you. Please," Keith choked lightly, shaking as more tears sprouted out and fled down his cheeks. "Please don't go!" He shouted. Then, hesitantly and very lightly, he kissed the rose, before he pressed another kiss on Lance's forehead reassuringly.

Keith loved _him_. He didn't love Shiro. Keith loved _Lance_.

The thought made Lance's heart race, and he desperately just wanted to kiss Keith so hard to show all of his love and gratefulness- Lance choked as suddenly the rose's stem lodged in his throat started to move. The large flower was being expelled out of Lance's lungs, and _quiznak it hurt_. Not wanting Keith to get a face full of a bloody rose and its thorns, the blue paladin pushed him away, causing the red paladin to yelp in surprise.

"Lance! What are you-" Keith was interrupted as Lance heaved loudly, propping himself on his hands and knees as he puked literal petals and thorns onto the bathroom floor. The boy shook as the rose pushed itself out of his mouth, the stem curling and twisting as it was expelled from Lance's lungs. Keith looked from Lance to the rest of the team, who all looked baffled and shocked at the scene. The red paladin tried to not look at Shiro's saddened and betrayed look, instead focusing back on the blue paladin who started to cough and wheeze.

Every second was agony to Lance, as his body finally seemed to be starting back up after weeks of slowly crumbling due to the disease that plagued it. Air and blood rushed into his lungs, pushing the seeds and stems of growing flowers out and making him choke in pain as more bile built up in his throat. Feeling the final push his body gave, Lance threw up a slew of flower parts and blood, shaking and gasping for breath. He was in agony, but at the same time Lance felt finally free from the flowers.

Their grip on his soul was released.

Lance was _free_.

Lance passed out.

 

\------------------

When Lance finally came to, he was comfortable in his bed, as if the past few weeks were all a dream. A soft hand was stroking his hair, almost lulling him back into the warm and dreamless sleep that he just awoke from. Only then did Lance realize that every breath he took was clear of thorns and flowers, and he inhaled deeply to check, just in case.

No more pain.

Exhaling, Lance opened his eyes, and immediately meeting the relieved eyes of Keith, his adoration sparkling off his face and warming Lance's own.

"Hi." Lance awkwardly said, mentally kicking himself. Keith's smile deepened, his hand that was in his hair coming down to cup the blue paladin's cheek.

"Hi." Keith whispered, his thumb lightly caressing Lance's face.

Euphoria filled Lance, tears springing up in his eyes as he raised his hand off the bed to grip the hand on his cheek. This was real. Keith loved him. Which gave Lance a small question in the back of his head.

"Why did you accept when Shiro asked you out?" Lance murmured, watching as Keith flushed with embarrassment and guilt, and squeezing his hand in reassurance.

"It was stupid..." Keith groaned, looking at Lance with shame. "I thought... I thought I never had a chance with you anyways, that you hated me. When Shiro asked me out... I thought that it could be a new start for me."

"... That is stupid." Lance growled, Keith blinking in surprise as Lance pulled him down and kissed him deeply. Lance's arms wrapped around Keith's neck, and the red paladin's hands slowly reached up to clasp the blue paladin's head. The two didn't break for air for a good few moments before finally separating, both men panting but with large smiles on their faces.

"I love you, Keith. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Lance cooed softly, arm detaching from Keith's neck to brush some hair off of the red paladin's face.

"Idiot, I should given you more of a chance." Keith chuckled, before turning solemn. "I should be saying sorry for what happened to you."

"Don't be sorry," Lance said seriously, looking into Keith's eyes with a stern look. "None of this is your fault, okay? Well, maybe a little bit, since you decided to go with second choice before asking me out-"

"Lance!" Keith snapped good naturedly, flicking the boy as he laughed.

"What? It's true!" Keith merely rolled his eyes and kissed Lance again, the blue paladin not complaining for once as they two were finally together.

 

Shiro looked on with a depressed expression, his heart breaking in two all over again. He gripped the wall harder, trying hide the unshed tears he was holding back while struggling not to cough. Turning around, he entered the halls, feeling a bud tickle the inside of his trachea.

Clearing his throat, he went into the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaah I apologize for the cliche ending but I really wanted it to end it with some Klance ;w; Nothing against Shiro either, just thought I'd add a little something to the end...
> 
> As always, Requests are read AND appreciated!


	5. Scorched (Mob!Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 15400 words of Mind Meld nonsense and Lance's horrific past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to write so much, but my hand slipped for two weeks.

"Good morning paladins!" Coran cheerfully said, earning him loud groans as the humans shuffled into the training room. As always, Lance was the only one who didn't respond verbally, merely smile at the Altean and nod tiredly. The normally boisterous blue paladin was always quiet in the mornings, counteracting his usual loud persona in the afternoons and during missions. The Voltron team just accepted that Lance was not a morning person, although this was not always the case.

Lance told Blue one day that his Mama would wake up him and his siblings up every day at 5 with the smell of bacon and pancakes. She'd be singing loudly with the radio on full blast, dancing to the Cuban songs while flipping the hotcakes with the precision of a master chef. Lance would be the first to bound down the stairs, awake and very alert, and start helping his mother with breakfast while somehow singing even louder than her. The other siblings would slowly trickle in to join them, Mama and Lance hooting and hollering every time they saw a new child sluggishly stepping downstairs. Soon the entire family would be cheering to the music, the twins already getting into stuff and causing mayhem while the others would be clumsily helping Lance with setting up the table. When everything was ready, they'd all sit together at the table, thanking whoever was watching them from above for the food and their lives (Mama wasn't very religious, but fate was something she always talked about), then they all began to dig into the glorious breakfast. Mornings, Lance remembered, was always his most favorite part of the day.

Now, mornings were just a reminder to what he had lost on that day.

"Today we will be testing the 'Mind Meld' machine in the Castle." All the paladins (including Lance, mind you) raised their eyebrows.

"'Mind Meld'? What's that?" Pidge yawned, intrigued but too exhausted to emotionally react.

"I'm glad you asked!" Coran happily said, typing something into the computer and summoning a large machine into the room. "This will let us look into the person's mind, going through the deepest memories and secrets!"

Oh no.

"Isn't that a little... disturbing?" Shiro was the first to speak out, the team unaware that Lance was slowly descending into a panic attack. "After all, they're secrets and unspoken memories for a reason... It seems rude to go into their mind like that."

"Nonsense!" Coran chuckled, clicking his tongue as if Shiro had asked a stupid question. "No secrets should be held around Voltron!"

"Then why don't you go first, Coran?" Pidge guardedly said, and Lance forced himself to calm down. After all, he wasn't the only one with a shady past, right? Pidge lost their brother, Shiro went through god knows what from being tortured by the Galra, and Keith suffered isolation for most of his life. They didn't want anyone seeing what they went through either. They won't do this, and neither would Lance.

"Well, you already know what happened to me and Allura!" Coran hummed, "And I highly doubt you'd want to see memories of boring old work for most of it till the day we had been cyro-frozen!"

"Well, we don't you seeing our pasts either!" Keith snapped, once again allowing his fiery emotions to boil over. Lance almost flinched at the heat radiating from him and his words. How does one person live with that kind of feeling 24/7? The blue paladin was once again grateful for his stoic and freezing center, always keeping him grounded and clear-thinking. Lance was interrupted from his thoughts by Keith's steaming. "They're sensitive topics!"

"Yeah, we didn't all have wonderful lives like Lance." Pidge snarked, causing Keith to flinch and look at Lance. It was hilarious that the red paladin pretended to care like that, and after the initial shock and pain numbed from the comment Lance almost laughed out loud. Instead, Lance gave a tired grin to Keith, and crossed his arms.

"That's true," Lance finally said, nodding as if agreeing with Pidge. "My memories aren't interesting at all, like yours, Coran. Nothing but beaches and schoolwork in this big brain." Lance tapped his head, winking at Pidge who rolled their eyes. Was it unnerving to Lance that he could lie so easily? Perhaps it would if he ever gave it too much thought.

"Really? I'd love to see that!" Coran brushed off the comments like dust on his shoulders, gradually irritating the paladins. "As a lead-technician to the Altean throne, I haven't been to other planets nearly as much as I wish I did! I'm sure I would love any harsh memory you could throw at me! Besides, it's important for each of us to know each other's hardships, so that we grow closer as a team! Very important, in fact." Coran nodded to himself while stroking his mustache.

Lance stiffened at the sigh of defeat the paladins gave, panic seeping back into his bones.

"W-Wait, we're not actually going to do this, right?" Lance stuttered, his mask slipping from his face for a moment before he hurriedly caught it and fastened it on tighter. "I mean, I know you don't all have the greatest of past experiences and looking at mine would-"

"Shut up, Lance." Pidge interrupted, "Let's just get this over with" Hurt zipped through Lance before he covered it again, reminding himself that no one liked this and they were all on edge. Pidge was normally a sweetheart (of course, how couldn't they be), but they were also sometimes blind to how their words effected others until it was too late. Poor Hunk learned this the hard way when Pidge said one time that the dinner he carefully made tasted like 'shit'. Pidge was a moody teenager, like Keith. They were all moody and angsty in their own ways.

Lance quickly forgave Pidge when he saw the scared look in their eyes as they sat in the chair. The blue paladin gave the green paladin a reassuring smile that seemed to calm them a bit, and they huffed and told Coran to get on with it. The Altean excitedly put a weird hat thing onto Pidge's head and Lance watched worriedly as they closed their eyes, seeming to be immediately put into a deep sleep. Then, an image appeared before the Voltron team, seeing a younger, and more feminine-looking Pidge running after what looked like her brother, Matt. The paladin watched as they basically saw most of Pidge's memories leading up to Matt's boarding of the ship that disappeared, the image turning foggy and black for a moment and Coran seemed disgruntled.

"What's wrong, Coran?" Shiro asked, clearly in his famous 'Space Dad' mode and fretting over the green paladin.

"Oh, nothing serious, I assure you." Coran said with slight irritation. "It's just that Pidge seems to be trying to block out the memory, is all."

Lance wouldn't blame her, he'll be most likely doing the same thing soon. Before the blue paladin could say anything though, Shiro walked up to the sleeping Pidge, and rested a hand on their shoulder.

"Hey," The black paladin started. "It's okay, alright Pidge? We'll won't judge you for anything you've done or seen. We're family. We stick together. You're okay." The green paladin seemed to have heard the black paladin's words, for they relaxed and the memory stream started again.

How touching, Lance mused. He doubted that when the team sees Lance's memories they won't be as much supportive as they are now. The thought made Lance's blood freeze in an uncomfortable type of way, making him shiver in fear. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his own shoulder, and he turned to see Keith with a worried frown on his face.

"Hey, it'll be okay." Keith awkwardly said, clearly not used to giving comfort. Lance forced a smile on his face, erasing any trace of tears that budged in his eyes. Not even Keith was prepared. Hell, Lance doubted that he himself was prepared for the memories that were to come. It made Lance even more scared.

Turning back to Pidge's memories, interest numbed the fear a bit as he watched a feminine-looking Pidge hack into the Garrison, then getting caught. _Then_ disguising themselves and joining the very place they hacked into. Pidge's memories showed a commander of the Garrison show them to the rooms in which the privates slept. A much more chubbier and more energy-filled Hunk appeared, looking beyond excited to be meeting his new roommate. He energetically introduced himself to Pidge, who shyly introduced themselves back. The commander then snarled about where 'the other one was', and another voice introduced itself, and a disheveled looking Lance entered the scene.

Wow, Lance never realized how _dead_ he used to look before he put on the mask. Shiro seemed to pick up on it too, because he turned his head to the blue paladin and gave him a worried look, in which Lance only shrugged and continued watching.

The memory Lance leaned on the doorframe leading to the bathroom, a toothbrush lodged in his mouth and he was wearing his famous cold stoic stare that he used during interrogations (not that the rest of the paladins knew, but to Lance it was the face that even _he_ came to fear). Unfortunately this was before Lance figured out how to hide his emotions, showing him in his full glory of depression and, well, _deadness_. The old Lance raised an eyebrow at Pidge, but said nothing as he took the toothbrush out of his mouth and spat into the sink, coming out soon after to give Pidge an obviously fake smile and a loose handshake. Pidge could sense that something was wrong with Lance, but the thought was easily carried away as Hunk began excitedly talking again, the soon to be green paladin only noting that Lance had sunk off into the background.

Other memories were included, such as finding the green lion and meeting Shiro for the first time, but soon Pidge began to wake up, and they immediately became apprehensive. Lance knew that Pidge was afraid that the paladins would treat them differently, but instead they all just smiled and cheered for the green paladin. Shiro gave them a large hug, Hunk soon joining in. Pidge's eyes began watering, and they too had a large smile on their face as they went and sat next to Lance, who flashed them a grin and slapped them on the back.

"Was it as bad as you thought it would be?" Lance snickered, Pidge huffing.

"Well, not really." Pidge grumbled, causing Lance to bark out a laugh.

"Anyways, who's next?" Coran quipped, Hunk soon sitting on the chair.

 

Hunk's memories were mostly about his family. Apparently he was a single child with a _very_ over-protective mother and a father that was drunk most of his life. A pang of sadness and pity overcame Lance as he watched, because despite his job his father was always very kind to his family, a complete opposite to Hunk's dad. They watched as the memory grew faded when Hunk's father started hitting and screaming at Hunk and his mother, and once again Shiro comforted Hunk and helped him through the memory. Not very long after did they show Hunk's newly acquired love for cooking, him taking cooking classes at his high school and created many dishes at home whenever he could. The pain of his drunken father was still there, but it was easily overtaken by baking and cooking memories.

It then showed Hunk getting into the Garrison, and being taken into the dorms. When he fit the key in however, the lock seemed to stick and wouldn't give in; making the boy knock instead to get into the room. Soon, a dead-eyed boy opened the door, raising an eyebrow at Hunk who quickly become a nervous wreck. Hunk was unnerved by the boy standing in front of him, hesitantly reaching a hand forward and introducing himself. The boy looked from Hunk's face to his hand, before breaking out a smile and shaking Hunk's hand, introducing himself as Lance. Relief rushing into Hunk as Lance seemed to grow more comfortable with him as they hung out together more and more, soon Pidge entering the picture.

Then, it was like Lance became a completely different human being.

One afternoon, Lance began singing a latino song (very nicely, might Hunk add) in their dorms, and just became more smiles and jokes as the weeks went on. Who was once a very reserved boy that had obviously been through some shit in the past was suddenly acting like he lives the best life in the world. Lance openly talked about his family, sometimes getting teary-eyed (a whole new emotion, Hunk may add _again_ ) but overall very happy and kind. Whenever Hunk asked about this new change, Lance would merely laugh it off. Hunk was worried, but was more relieved than anything to see this new change. At least he didn't have to be afraid of the boy anymore. In fact, Lance and Pidge became Hunk's closest friends in the Garrison, the three of them constantly cheering each other one and comforting each other after an especially hard day's work.

Hunk was happy.

 

Keith's memories were... intense. Predictable, Lance thought, as the red paladin was open about his troubled childhood, but Lance wasn't expecting this amount of... sadness.

Lance just then realized that the machine, 'Mind Meld' or whatever it was, was showing not only the memories of the person, but making everyone feel the emotions too. The fact made Lance's stomach churn, slightly beating himself up for not seeing it earlier. No wonder he knew of Hunk's fear, Pidge's desperation, and now Keith's crippling loneliness. An uncomfortable burning sensation wrapped itself around Lance's heart at the image of the red paladin constantly trying and failing of finding a family, as foster home after home rejected him after a few weeks. It wasn't Keith's fault that he had anger issues, and the constant parental switching probably made it worse. Once again, Lance felt grateful that he had a family that cared and supported him through the years before the day.

Which came to the question, was it better to have loved and lost, or to never have had it at all?

Lance supposed that question was just asking whether the egg came first or the chicken: it all depended on perspective, and was not a question to try to answer.

When Keith woke up from his memories, he immediately broke down into tears, and the paladins quickly surrounded him in a cuddle puddle. Lance was up front with Shiro, hugging the red paladin tightly as he sniffled and buried his head in Lance's neck, surprising the blue paladin. Lance chuckled comfortingly, patting Keith's head as the rest of the paladins squished around them. The red paladin tried apologizing, but the blue one quickly shut him down.

"Don't be sorry for something you had no control over," Lance seriously said, Keith hesitating before nodding, his next words sending a discomforting chill down Lance's spin.

"That goes for you too," The red paladin whispered, before the others broke apart.

 

The room went silent as Shiro sat down on the chair, apprehension filling the empty air. The black paladin was slightly sweating, but stood brave and gave his team a strained smile before falling into a deep sleep. Lance's throat closed on itself as the first vision wasn't his childhood, no, it was being captured by the Galra.

Right to it then, huh 'Mind Meld'?

To be completely honest, most of it was pure static and figures for visuals. It was exactly what Shiro described as many times before: dark room, screams, purple things floating around. It was the _feelings_ that got to Lance, and he could tell it affected the others a lot too.

So, _so_ much pain and paranoia. So much _fear_ while fighting in the arena. The constant puking after a battle and the tremors that covered their leader's body. There were few words Lance could use to explain the feelings and emotions that covered him as he watched the blurry screen, but he had to constantly keep his mask in check to keep from busting apart right at that moment. Shiro was his hero; heroes shouldn't had to have felt _this_. The blue paladin could hear Pidge's sobbing and Hunk trying to comfort them as he cried himself. Lance was aware of his hand being tightly held by Keith's, and the blue paladin reassuringly squeezed the red's hand.

The last memory was the pure relief and euphoria that washed everyone when the team found Shiro, their yells felt like music to the black paladin as tears fled his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. His team was with him now; everything will be alright now. His family was here. It felt good to be saved for once.

Shiro's first action after waking up was hugging the still crying Pidge, who sprinted to him as soon as he gained consciousness. Then it was comforting Hunk, who joined soon after. Keith made sure to give his brother a big hug too, and snorted when Shiro ruffled his hair. Lance hesitantly smiled at Shiro, who rolled his eyes and slapped the blue paladin's back. Lance yelped and opened his mouth to complain, before the seriousness in his leader's eyes made him stop.

"We all had problems," Shiro started, using the best dad voice Lance has ever heard him use. "Just know that we are a family; whatever happened to you, we will understand."

Lance's mask cracked under Shiro's stare.

"I doubt it." Lance whispered so quietly that only the black paladin could hear, but the look on the blue paladin's face made the others react, and Pidge was the first one to reassure Lance.

"Whatever happened can't be _that_ bad!" Pidge chirped, lightly punching Lance's shoulder while giving him a bright grin.

"Yeah! You're like, the coolest person I know! Nothing could ever get to you!" Hunk said, unintentionally making Lance even more nervous than he was.

"We're here for you," Keith murmured, putting a hand on Lance's shoulder. Funny, the red paladin has been getting a bit more... touchy-feely more often, not that Lance was complaining. He was just afraid of what they'll do when they see what Lance had done. He couldn't control any of the memories going through, and although he could fight it, he highly doubt that he could block out everything that the machine was to dig up.

Lance sighed, giving up. Secrets were made to be found out, he supposed, even if it'll destroy the life you've carefully fabricated to get the tiniest bit of happiness for once.

Without a word, he walked to the machine and sat down on the chair, and the last thing he saw before falling into the deep sleep was his teammates smiling and giving him a thumbs up. The scene let a tear slip from his eyes, as he knew that was the last time he'd ever see their smiling faces again.

\-------------

 _"Would you like to hold her, mijo?"_ A tiny child, no older than 4 or 5, frowned while looking at his exhausted mother, who was holding a tightly-wrapped bundle in her arms.

 _"She looks so weak. What if I hurt her?"_ The child asked, stuttering a bit in spanish as he looked at his Mama with concern.

 _"Strength comes from the soul, mijo, not the physical appearance."_ The mother smiled warmly at the boy, who's frown only deepened.

_"Mel wasn't this tiny when she was born. Did you eat enough when you were still carrying this one?"_

_"Yes mijo, I promise. This baby is fine, she'll grow up to be big and strong too, like you."_

The boy's frown softened, but shook his head anyways and lifted his hands in silent acceptance. The mother laughed tiredly, and rested the bundle into the boy's arms, the child immediately cradling the body and head of the infant as if he's done it a million times before. Cold blue eyes melted as they gazed at the resting face of his new sister, and he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead before looking back up at his mother.

_"Are you sure she'll be okay?"_

_" Yes, mijo."_

The boy hesitantly nodded, before looking back to his sister with concern when the infant started to sniffle. The mother smiled again, laughing at the near panic in her son's eyes at the baby's cries.

 _"Looks like she wants Mama."_ A new voice chimed in, the boy stiffening before turning to his Papa, and while the man smiled at his son, the boy merely nodded stoically before giving the girl back to the mother.

 _"Why don't you go play with Melanie? Mama should talk to Papa privately."_ The mother asked the boy, who once again nodded and left the room. Waiting for him was a small three year old girl playing with blocks by herself, looking quite bored. When the boy made a small grunt, the girl quickly lit up and looked at him, her smile wide as she started giggling loudly. Only then did the boy smile back, his eyes warm, and sit down next to her to help his sister set up a tower of blocks.

_\------_

_"You should smile more."_ Quipped Melanie one day as the two siblings worked together cleaning the house, the boy raising an eyebrow in response as he dusted the shelves.

 _"Should I?"_ The eight year old responded, stopping his busy work for a moment to tap his chin as if in thought. _"Maybe I'll smile once you finish cleaning the dishes."_

 _"And if I don't?"_ The six year old said back, flashing the boy a mischievous smile.

The boy deadpanned, his eyes turning to ice. _"Girl, you better clean those dishes or so help me-"_

 _"Alright alright! I was just kidding!"_ Melanie laughed, quickly turning on the faucet and starting to scrub the dishes clean. _"All I'm saying is that you take things way too seriously, bro-bro. You should have some fun with me!"_

The eight year old rolled his eyes before turning back to dusting. _"I can't today. Papa said he wants me to help him with some paperwork when he gets home."_

_"Bor-ing!"_

_"Necessary."_

_"Necessarily boring."_

The boy snorted, not helping the smile that appeared on his face due to his sister's comment. Only she could make him smile like this.

_"Maybe."_

_\--------_

The boy opened his eyes tiredly, looking at the digital clock that read 5 in the morning and wondering gloomily why he was awoken when the sun was still sleeping. The sound of his other siblings snored around him, the crib next to his bed silent for once, but the boy knew it would be filled soon enough. Even Melanie was still asleep, unusually quiet for once as she dreamt of whatever the perky girl dreamed of. The boy almost reached over to tuck a piece of the girl's hair in before he found out what had awoken him in the first place.

_"Dame más gasolina!"_

Excitement immediately boiled into the boy's system, throwing off his blankets and sprinting out of the room and down the stairs, breaking into song with his Mama who was cooking in the wondrous-smelling kitchen. The woman didn't even seem fazed, merely laughing and shaking her hips to the music as the boy took over the singing. Mama flipped the pancakes like a pro, and the boy got on an apron and washed his hands, starting to prepare the room for some egg-beating.

Mornings were the _best._

 _"I would say good morning, but I don't think 5 o'clock counts as one."_ Melanie yawned, entering the room as the boy finished the ending words to the song.

 _"Morning will come soon!"_ The boy chirped, flashing his sister a wide grin. _"How do you want your eggs?"_

 _"A boiled egg is hard to_ ** _beat_** _in the morning."_ The boy's grin vanished as their mother snorted, Melanie returning her brother's scowl with a cheeky grin. _"What? I need to make a joke when I was up. I don't like to be in_ ** _morning_** _when I open my eyes."_

_"Melanie-"_

_"I heard that you guys were listening to the radio. Are you on the_ **_A.M_ ** _channel?"_

_"Mel-"_

_"How long did it take you to put on underwear when you woke up? I hope it was_ **_briefly_ ** _-"_

_"I'll kill you!"_ The mother howled with laughter as the boy lunged at his sister, the girl's own giggles turning into screams as her brother started slapping her with a wooden spoon. The siblings raced around the house as the other children went downstairs to see what was going on, soon cheering for the brother and sister as they fought.

_"You know, I find it quite_ **_alarming_ ** _when your alarm hits you back!"_

The boy yelled in irritation as the two grappled each other, the mother soon having to split them apart to keep the boy from causing major damage to his sister. The boy scowled at Melanie as she shrugged at him, sticking her tongue out as she reached over and pulled the boy's lips up.

_"Smile more, bro-bro. You'll be less grumpy if you do."_

_"I'll smile when you stop making those horrible jokes."_ The boy growled, crossing his arms as the girl laughed.

_"You're gunna have to wait a long time then, dude. That reminds me of another joke, actually. A blond asks someone what time it was-"_

The boy never heard the end of the joke, because he was too busy trying to punch that goofy grin off his sister's face.

\----------

One day, Melanie wasn't smiling after school.

At first, the boy did not give it much thought. He was very busy with papers, and afterward he had shooting practice with his instructor that Papa had contacted specifically for his son. It made the boy a bit nauseous that he was only ten years old and his father was already trying to get his oldest to join in the family business, but he silently followed what Papa told him to do. He had bigger things to worry about than his little sister having a rough day.

Then a week passed, and Melanie stopped cracking jokes at the dinner table. The absence of usual laughter unnerved the boy, and it seemed that the rest of the family had picked up on it too. Mama tried striking up conversation with her, but she just shook her head and said it was nothing. The boy's heart ached at the wrongness this all felt, and after dinner clean up he led Melanie upstairs where he sat her down and asked her what was wrong.

His usual energetic and happy sister suddenly busted into tears, hugging her brother tightly as she sniffled and sobbed. The boy was surprised, but held onto her tightly as she shook. Melanie explained that a group of rude boys at her school had made her a target, and were constantly bullying her on the playground and when the teacher wasn't looking in class.  The brother immediately knew who these boys were, and hot, searing anger boiler through him as he hugged his sister tighter. He told her that there was nothing to worry about, and that he'd take care of it. Melanie nodded, wiping her eyes before looking at her brother with a worried frown.

Huffing, the boy poked her cheek. _"You look horrible."_

 _"Wow, thanks."_ Melanie rolled her eyes, and the boy poked her cheek again before pecking her forehead.

 _"Smile,"_ The boy grunted _. "You look prettier that way."_ His sister laughed, pushing him away and telling him he was a dork, causing the boy himself to break into a soft grin.

A couple days later, five boys from the elementary high school were sent to the hospital, two of them in emergency care. A single, hastily written note was scribbled on a piece of paper next to the kids, reading _'Don't mess with my family ever again.'_

The attacker was never found, and the crime was tied to recent gang violence.

_\----------_

Focus.

A gun was an extension of the arm; a very dangerous weapon that had to be treated with upmost respect.

A gun could save a life and take away one at the same time. It's uses befalls on the wielder, and one pull of the trigger could determine who dies in front of them.

A gun was a show of power; everyone would treat you differently if you bring a gun to a conference. The weapon represents fear and control, so control had to be shown to use it properly.

Control and focus.

The boy breathed in, steadying the rifle, his eye looking down the barrel. With one exhale, he fired, hitting his target dead on in the center.

 _"Nice shot, mijo."_ Papa proclaimed, the boy turning around to give the man a small nod. The father smiled warmly, patting his son on the back before taking him inside. _"I think you'll do fine out there, with those brilliant shooting skills of yours. Not just fine, amazing, in fact!"_

The boy nodded stoically, keeping his eyes in front of him as he walked, all just wanting to go back home. He didn't like spending time with just his Papa; he talked about the family business when it was just the two of them. Papa talked about his son joining his ranks when he got older, and then taking over as leader when his father died. It never sat right for the boy with the thought of working under his dad, especially in the job occupation Papa had in mind for him.

He didn't want it.

\---------------

 _"Why don't you just say no then?"_ Melanie asked the boy one day, her brother's lips making a fine line while he shook his head.

_"It's not that simple. I can't just say 'no' to Papa."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because!"_

_"Because why?"_

_"Well..."_ The boy stopped for moment, trying to get over his irritation and think. Why _couldn't_ he just say no? He obviously didn't want to, so why should he? A deep frown embedded itself in the thirteen year old's face, uncertainty and the force to just _follow_ swirled inside of him, leaving a heat inside him that was suffocating.

Suddenly, fingers pressed his lips upwards, Melanie in front of him and giving away a reassuring grin as she spoke.

 _"Smile! It'll make you feel better!"_   The brother huffed, rolling his eyes but hugging his sister tightly, burying his fingers into her hair as a comfort mechanism.

 _"I'll smile when I'm out of this hell."_ The boy grumbled, the sister scoffing and flicking his head when they broke apart.

 _"No using language like that, not in this household!"_ Melanie smiled warmly at her brother, before linking their arms together and guiding him outside. _"Now come on, let's play together!"_

\------------

_"What do you mean 'no'?!"_

_"I mean I don't want to! I don't want to Papa!"_

_"You are perfect! What is holding you back?!"_

_"I'd rather be a deadbeat son than a murderer!"_ The boy finally snapped, making Papa turn red with anger. His son's own icy fire was burning in his chest, screaming to escape as hot words formed in the boy's mouth.

 _"I don't want to hurt people, Papa! I want to be a hero among the stars!"_ Tears streamed down the boy's cheeks, tremors covering his body as he realized what he was saying. He was going against the man that gave him life, and taught him how to hold himself. His primal mind was telling him to step back, to bow down to his father, but his soul was fiercely telling him to stand his ground. The fire in his heart was suffocating him, but the boy gritted his teeth, refusing to give up as he stared down his father.

Papa finally blinked and looked away, fury still evident in his body but refusing to give his son the pleasure of seeing him like this. The boy watched the man as stalked off, and only then did he let go of the breath he was holding. Just like that, his fire was extinguished, and was immediately replaced by the comforting ice that froze over the ashes. The boy didn't stop crying, but it was only out of fear now, as he struggled to keep his breaths steady.

He was engulfed in a warm hug, and he buried his hands in her hair as she kissed his forehead.

 _"You did good, bro-bro."_ Melanie said, and the boy nodded in the hug.

Things were going to change.

\-------------

_"Stay brave, mijo."_

_"I will, Papa. Even when the earth shakes around me."_

The father laughed his beautiful laugh, slapping his son's back before waving at his family and getting into the car. The boy felt Melanie grip his hand in reassurance as Papa backed up, the boy almost giving away a smile of relief as he realized he was _free_ -

All he heard was an explosion and felt a wave of heat that burned him to his very core that knocked him back. He gasped as debris shot through him, all scorching with flames that ate at his skin like parasites. He heard terrified screams of his family as they too were harmed by the bomb that went off, and the boy saw that some of them were laying lifelessly on the ground, his own body trying to make sense of what just happened.

The boy coughed painfully as burning metal spikes impaled themselves in his flesh and bone, nearly knocking him out from the fiery agony that was encasing him. Shaking his head, the boy focused on helping his family, causing pure torture in his limbs as he limped towards his mother, who was in hysterics. The boy unconsciously worried about her and his unborn sibling; as far as he knew, pregnant woman shouldn't be under great deals of stress. A pair of familiar cried caught his attention however, and he fearfully turned his head to see the twins on the ground, one holding their arm while the other tried getting him to stand up. 

Exhaling sharply in pain, the boy struggled to walk towards the twin boys, when he heard an alien sound of footsteps. He stood still as his eyes focused on the three figures in black walk onto the broken pavement, fear stripping the boy of any other emotion as he saw the tommy guns in their hands.

 _"Sorry for doing this, but the McClain family's rein over Cuba ends today."_ One figure said with a cigar in his mouth, a grin cracking into his face and made the boy's stomach flip. 

 _"Please, don't do this!"_ His Mama cried, and the boy's heart broke over the desperation in her voice. The boy's arms found themselves wrapping around the twins in an attempt to cover them away from the carnage in front of them.

 _"Sorry ma'am, boss's orders."_ The boy's blood chilled uncomfortably as shots were fired, and he felt tears stream down his cheeks as he heard more screams from his family before the bodies fell to the ground. He felt fresh new agony spike through his body as bullets buried into his back, and he couldn't keep in the handful of blood that escaped from his mouth. He choked slightly, trying to keep the twins quiet to no avail, as the boys panicked and ran from their brother's protection to their fallen mother, and more shots were fired. Two more bodies joined the pile.

The boy's body was trembling from exhaustion and pain, and he struggled to breathe as he helplessly stared at his entire family bleeding on the lawn. Tears freely seeped from the boy's eyes, and he coughed out more blood before falling onto the ground. He foggily heard the withdrawing footsteps of the men that destroyed the boy's life in a matter of moments. All he did was stare at the face of Melanie who laid lifelessly next to him, her once bright eyes clouded and staring straight back at him.

 _"Sorry means nothing."_ The boy choked out, before taking his dead sister's hand loosely and closing his eyes hopefully for the last time.

\----------

_"Ah! There's the new boss!"_

_"He's so young. He'll never make it out there."_

_"I heard the old boss taught him everything he knew the second the kid could walk."_

_"Is he really the only survivor?"_

_"Not just the only survivor; He's the old boss's oldest."_

_"I ain't going to follow a baby's orders."_

_"Careful! He might hear you!"_

_"And what's he going to do? Bite my ankles?"_

The boy inhaled smoothly as he willed the fire in his chest to freeze over as he walked past two of the members of the mob. Being the new boss, they wouldn't dare rest a finger on him; but every part of his body was screaming for a fight. He wanted nothing but someone he could take all of his emotions out on, but he'd have to wait until the next lesson in hand-to-hand combat. The boy was near perfect with guns, but was just a beginner when it came to physical fighting; something that Anton told him was very important to know in his job.

The right hand man of Papa was now the boy's, as the newly appointed boss had next to no experience in this work trade. Anton was very patient however, and made sure to start training the boy soon after he had gotten better after the attack. The things Anton said the boy had to do unnerved him, but he supposed he owed his father at least this. Not only that, but this job proposition would be the only thing that could connect the boy to his family's murderers.

And he _wanted_ to know who they were.

 _"Don't worry, Jefe. It gets easier after the first time."_ Anton smiled reassuringly at the boy as the man gave the thirteen year old a sharpened hunter's knife. _"I'll help whenever I can, alright?"_

The boy nodded stoically, ignoring the urge to puke as he took the knife and stepped into the room, staring down the beaten man tied to the chair across from him. The panicked look on the frightened man made the boy want to run away, but he steeled himself and sat across from him.

 _"Where did you hide the drugs?"_ The boy murmured, the beaten man scowling and shaking his head.

 _"I won't tell you anything."_ The man huffed, saying the exact words that the boy didn't want to hear. Shivering, he gripped the knife harder, looking at Anton. When the right hand nodded, the boy boy softly exhaled and stepped over to the beaten man in the chair, hesitating before swinging the knife and impaling it into the tied man's hand. The captive screamed in agony, ringing in the boy's ears, and he had to freeze more of his emotions to keep from crying.

 _"Where are the drugs?"_ The boy repeated, louder this time.

 _"I can't tell you."_ The man sobbed, tugging his arm in instinct to free itself but only causing more pain. The boy sighed, already feeling guilt and exhaustion pull at him. 

It was a long interrogation.

\----------------

 _"If you just tell me where the cash is, you don't have to loose anymore fingers."_ The boy sweetly said, wiping blood off his knife as the President of Cuba released another sob. The boy had done this dance so many times already, it was almost a natural instinct to flick his blade in this room. Icy, dead eyes stared into pain-filled ones, and yet the man still held his head up high.

 _"I won't ever tell you, you filthy pig!"_ The President spat, the boy blinking in surprise before chuckling, sending a shiver down the captive's spine.

 _"Well, then let's change the rules of our little game, shall we?"_ The crime boss purred, the President opening up his mouth to protest, before the boy picked up a walkie talkie and pressed the button.

_"Anton, bring up the girl."_

_"Of course, Jefe."_ Theright hand obediently responded.

 _"Who are you talking- Melody!"_ The President shouted, eyes widening as mobsters shoved his daughter into the room. _"Please! Do anything to me, but not her!"_ The captive begged, the crime boss tutting softly before pressing his knife into the daughter's cheek, the girl whimpering in pain as blood seeped from the wound.

 _"Then tell us where you've hidden your fortune, dear President."_ The boy cooed, none of the people in the room believing that a fourteen year old could say words with such malicious intent. The mobsters shuttered under the cold gaze of their boss, but gripped the girl tightly as she struggled.

The captive looked like he wanted to protest again, but quickly shut his mouth when the boy redirected the knife to the girl's throat. _"It's under my mansion, in a safe. The code 8970. Now, please, let my dear Melody go."_

The boy nodded to his minions, and they let the leader's daughter go. Releasing a sob, the girl ran to her father and tugged on the restraints holding the tortured man down. 

 _"Let my Papa go!"_ She screamed, and the crime boss's heart lurched painfully. Biting his lip, he shook away the feelings of guilt and signaled to the mobsters.

"Take the girl and President to the cells. I'll plan what to do with them soon." The boy ordered, the members nodded and grabbed the girl again as they undid the man's bindings. Suddenly, the leader punched one of the mobsters in the face when they undid both of his hands, taking the other member's head and smashing it on the table. The boy acted quickly, grabbing his bloodied knife to thrust at the President but the girl tackled the boy down with surprising strength, the crime boss growling in warning but had bit back a yelp of pain when the leader kicked him in the head. Black spots covered the boy's vision, and he felt the weight of the daughter leave and he was painfully aware that he once again allowed his emotions to get the best of him.

 _"Fucked up again,"_ The boy muttered, frustration bubbling in his chest. _"Wouldn't Papa be proud."_

When he could see again, the boy grabbed his walkie talkie, clicking on the intercom and reporting that the President of Cuba and his daughter was escaping. He then called Anton, telling him to seal all exits and get the soldiers ready for lockdown.

 _"Got it. Don't worry, Jefe, we'll get them secured."_ Anton reassured, the boy relaxing a bit at his right hand's words. Stumbling as he got up, the boy groaned as his head throbbed in agony. He'll have to remember to take off their shoes once they were under his grip again. The two mobsters were coming to also, and the crime boss quickly ordered them to search for the escapists, the members nodding hastily and running out the door. 

The boy stood in the interrogation room for a while longer, in deep thought. He wondered how his life could have gone so downhill in such little time. Regret and self-hatred pooled in the boy's stomach, bile rushing in his throat as he struggled not to puke from either the emotions or the fact that his head felt like it was split in two. Releasing a sigh, the crime boss's interest perked when Anton came on the radio again, telling him that the President and his daughter were found and being chased after. 

Lips twitching in relief, the boy walked out of the room, wiping his knife with his gloves and entering the halls where the two escapees were heading to.

 

The President of Cuba gasped in terror as he saw his former torturer meet them at the end of the hall, blood leaking down the side of his head and his eyes piercing the darkness. The freezing look of irritation and deadness on the young boy's face made the leader trip on his feet, his daughter crying out when she saw what was in front of them. Mobsters took advantage of their hesitation and surrounded the two, guns pointed at them threateningly. The leader shivered in terror as he heard the clicks of the crime boss's shoes entering the fray, the members of the mob slightly moving for their leader but making sure to stay tightly together in case their prisoners tried to break for it again. The President snarled and pushed his daughter behind him as the crime boss stepped in front of them.

The boy merely narrowed his eyes at the leader, his face of stoicness making the President shiver again. Those icy eyes commanded respect to anyone that dared be in their presence, yet inside them still contained a fire of warmth that fought continuously to be freed. Yet the ice still encased the boss's heart, no matter how much the flame tried to melt it. 

The boy blinked, and the fire was encased again. _"Tell me, dear President. Did you ever explain to your daughter why she never met her mother?"_

The President froze, his eyes widening as his daughter looked t him in confusion. _"That's not-"_

 _"You must have never had the guts to, huh?"_ The boy cooed, his frowned mouth twitching in amusement. _"Never told her the women you raped, never told her the corruption that bribe you and the blood on you hands. I expected you to at least tell her a lie about how her mother died, but not even that?"_ The boy tutted, waving a finger in the President's face. _"And you call **me** the animal."_

 _"Papa?"_ The girl asked, terrified of the man in front of her, but wanting to know the truth. _"Papa, what is he-"_

 _"Who the fuck are you?!"_ The President spat to the crime boss, a shadow covering the leader's face as he refused to look at his daughter. _"How the fuck do you know that?!"_ The girl started to sob, and tried to step forward but was held back by the mobsters.

The boy did not smirk, but the knowledge of victory was clear in his icy eyes. _"Call me a vigilante at the head of the mafia, dear President."_ The young crime boss started, putting away his dried knife in favor of the sawed-off shotgun that was secured to his waist. _"And let me just say, I heard a lot about you due to some little birds. I'm honestly surprised that you've made it this far, but the past catches up to all of us sooner or later."_ The boy nearly hummed, staring at the leader with a lazy look, as if bored of the conversation. _"My name is McClain; probably the last name you'll ever hear, to be subtle."_

 _" **Fuck you!** "_ The name must've hit a nerve with the President, because he suddenly launched himself at the crime boss, the mobsters yelping in surprise and they rushed to restrain him, but were not fast enough. The girl screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks in terror and confusion. 

With a single exhale, the crime boss shot the President in the knee with the gun in his hand, the President howling in pain and slamming to the ground in agony, blood already pooling around him.

 _"Wow, that was kinda stupid of you. And you're our President? Such a shame."_ The boy joked, yet no humor was in his voice as he stepped onto the leader's face, the man whimpering in pain. _"How disgusting,"_ The boy scowled, digging his heel into the President's nose, threatening to break it with the simple action. _"You're so weak; I could smash your face in with a single kick. But you'd deserve that, honestly."_ Shaking his head, theboy added pressure to his foot, the President starting to scream and beg.

_"Please! I'll give you anything; fame, whores, the seat! Please, mercy!"_

_"How pitiful,"_ The boy mused, and he bent down to press the shotgun to the President's temple. _"Go on; tell me why I shouldn't blow your brains out right now."_ But the leader could see the fire flicker in the crime boss's eyes, and the leader sneered in knowledge.

 _"You don't have the guts to do it."_ The President spat, seeing the flame flicker in the boy's eyes. _"You're weak, unlike your father. You're pops would've killed me the second I told the code, and yet here I am under your custody. Do you really think you can control a mob while I'm alive? I'll make your life-"_ The President didn't finish his rant as the boy slammed the butt of the gun onto his head. The crime boss uncontrollably shaking; whether from fury or fear no one could tell, for the boy's face were devoid of any emotion, next to the confusing mix of feelings shown in his eyes. 

 _"Take him and the girl back to the cells."_ The boy monotonously spoke, the mobsters blindly following their boss's orders and picked up the limp body on the ground.

 _"Hey!"_ The boy covered his surprise as the girl finally spoke up again, all tears gone from her face and was replaced with anger and protest. _"Don't put me back with that guy! I want a different cell!"_

 _"Why?"_ The boy asked, interest perked, as the girl huffed.

 _"He might rape me too!"_ She shouted, looking at the young crime boss incredulously. _"Unless what you said was a lie? What about protecting the innocent, Mr. Vigilante?"_

 _"I never said anything about that."_ The boy argued, but then sighed. _"She can stay with me as you twats prepare another cell."_

 _"What?! Boss-"_ A mobster started, but was immediately shut up by the icy look the boy gave him. The members nodded, giving the girl snarls as they passed, dragging the unconscious man away.

The girl hesitated, but followed the boy as he turned around and walked to his office with his hands in his pockets. The girl frowned at the back of his head, crossing her arms and puffing.

 _"So, McClain, what are you going to do with us now that we've unsuccessfully escaped?"_ The girl snidely said the boy's 'name', but he gave no indication of being annoyed as he sat in his chair. She looked around in a bit of awe at the room, books lining the walls, the only other furniture in the place was the mahogany table and the reclining chair that the crime boss was currently sat in.

_"We'll begin with putting a high ransom on your father-"_

_"That pig isn't my Papa if what you said is true."_ The girl interrupted, the boy raising an eyebrow.

 _"That was fast. A few minutes ago you were sobbing to let him go and, **if I remember correctly** , tackled me to the ground so you could escape with him." _The girl looked away as the boy took out some papers, clicking his pen as he began to write something. _"But I suppose anyone would hate the guy after they know what he did."_

 _"What happened to my Mama?"_ The girl suddenly asked. _"You didn't reveal that yet."_

 _"Dead."_ The crime boss nonchalantly said, not taking his eyes off his work. _"She found out what the President was doing, and tried to run away with you to America. He found out, and had her publicly executed for treason."_

 _"How do you know this information?"_ The girl asked, crushed by the news but still curious.

_"She was friends with my right hand man. That's a nice coincidence, huh? Besides, even if she wasn't, the spies would've sent me the exact same information."_

_"Have you ever killed someone?"_ The boy jolted in surprise at the sudden question, looking up at the girl in confusion before scribbling something on the paper and shifting it to the side.

_"No, I never have, and probably never will."_

_"Why?"_

_"I don't like the thought of having someone's life dead because my hands."_

_"But have you ever ordered someone to be killed?"_

" _No_."

" _How_ -"

" _Listen_ ," The boy sighed, closing his iced eyes and rubbing his temples. " _As much as I love playing the '20 questions' game, I really don't feel like explaining my rules to a **kid**."_

 _"You're only like, two years older than me!"_ The girl protested, the boy snorting in response.

 _"I think all the stars could vouch for me when I say that those two years couldn't make us be any more different."_ The girl pouted, but the crime boss paid no mind as he opened his eyes and got to work again. Deciding that standing was too tiring, the girl sat down on the table, the boy grunting in irritation but choosing to ignore her.

_"My name's Melody."_

_"I know."_

_"Do you know everything?"_

_"Probably."_

_"Are you aware how self-centered you are by saying that?"_

_"Yep."_ The boy popped the 'p' sound, the girl scowling for a moment before looking away.

_"Do you have a first name?"_

_"Of course I do."_

_"What is it?"_

_"That my dear girl, is something I cannot tell you."_

_"Why not?"_

The boy's lips twitched in amusement, looking at the girl with a sly look before pressing a finger to his mouth. _"It's a McClain secret."_

_"Why?"_

_"Do you always have to ask 'why' to something?"_

_"You know everything; you tell me!"_

The boy stared at the girl for a long time, before the fire in his eyes blazed alive and he gave a very small, but noticeable, grin.

_"Welcome to the mafia, Melody."_

\-------------------------------

 _"Why don't you smoke cigars and wear fedoras?"_ Melody asked one day while sitting on the boy's desk.

 _"People who smoke cigars are assholes that wear hats."_ The crime boss took a bite out of his lunch, the fruit making a crunch as it was bitten into.

_"You're literally eating an apple while saying that."_

_"What's wrong with that?"_

_"Assholes eat apples."_ The boy raised an eyebrow at the girl, chewing thoughtfully.

_"Let me clarify then; assholes that want to fuck up their respiratory system smoke cigars."_

_"And the assholes that wear fedoras?"_

_"People that don't know fashion."_

The girl busted into laughter, making the fire in boy's eyes flicker. A grin appeared on his face as she shoved him, getting off the table to stretch.

_"I have to go, but we'll talk later?"_

" _Definitely_."

The girl winked at the crime boss, making gun-like figures with her index fingers and thumbs and pretending to shoot at the boy before leaving the room. Confusion covered the boy's face before he looked at his own hands, making the finger guns himself before a blush perked across his face. Shaking his head, the boy huffed as he drowned himself in paperwork.

\-----------------

_"I don't understand why you just don't kill him."_

_"Ain't that easy, my dear."_

_"You're making things harder for yourself."_

_"Comes with being the boss of the mafia while having a conscience."_

_"You're not **supposed** to have a conscience."_

_"You watched too many mob movies."_

_"I think you just suck at being a mob boss."_

The boy chuckled, nodding in mock-shame. _"Probably. Are you coming or not?"_

 _"Of course!"_ The girl ran up to the crime boss, unconsciously taking his free hand as they jogged out into the cells. Melody shivered as the temperature changed drastically, though the boy didn't react at all as he re-checked the papers in his hand that wasn't being held. The two didn't even react to the close proximity as they walked down the stairs together, the boy giving the girl the papers as he fished out a key from his pocket.

_"Remember the rules-"_

_"No hitting above the neck or below the pelvis, I know McClain, jeez."_ The girl rolled her eyes, the boy humming in amusement as he unlocking the cell, where a teenage kid, barely older than Melody, was tied up. The girl tightened her gloves as she walked into the cell, the crime boss closing the door behind her.

 _"I'll be here, just to be sure."_ The boy reassured, despite the girl not needed it.

 _"Worried about me, huh? That's cute."_ She teased as she prepped for the interrogation.

The boy blushed, crossing his arms and looking away. _"No, it's just protocol."_

_"Whatever. You should totally take me out to dinner after this though."_

The boy's eyes sparkled with a warm emotion. _"Sure."_

_\------------------------_

_"A rose for you, my dear."_

_"Really? How much of a sap are you?"_

The boy shrugged, the grin on his face widening when the girl took the flower from his hand. _"Just another thing you've learned about me, I believe."_

_"What, that you're a hopeless romantic?"_

_"Perhaps."_

The girl laughed her beautiful laugh, taking the boy's hand as he led her outside their home, the two walking a while before coming to an open field, where the night sky was vast and free from the city's light pollution. The two laid down together on the plush grass, laughing as they told each other jokes and adventures they had that day.

After about half an hour, the conversation died down, and the two merely stared at the stars, the boy getting albeit drowsy but refusing the pull of sleep. He had something planned today, and he didn't want to ruin it.

 _"My Mama once told me that every star represented the dead."_ The boy started, the girl humming in affirmation, and the boy continued. _"She told me every cluster of stars was a family, so no star was ever alone. No matter who you were, you always had someone that would meet you when you died."_

_"The afterlife, you mean?"_

_"Yeah. Mama was never religious, but she was a follower of the stars. She always said that the sun was her god, because she could always look up during the day and feel it smiling back down at her. I was the only one that listened to her when she talked about the stars, I was like her apprentice when it came to hailing the stars."_ The boy smiled at the memories, and he lifted his hand to point at the moon.

_"The moon was the sun's lover, Mama told me. She said that Earth was their child, so they always looked over it. The stars in our solar system are all the Earth's children, and acted like little home for every person who dies. So when a person's soul goes up into space, their family can move their star closer to them, no matter how far they are."_

_"So everyone that has passed can see us, right now?"_

_"Nah, they're too far away to see us. That's why the moon revolves around the Earth, so it can tell people how their loved ones are doing on the planet. The moon can see everything on Earth."_

_"What about the constellations?"_

_"Those were the first families that entered space when they died. The sun told them to make pictures with the stars so people could look up and feel comforted by the fact that they can see the afterlife."_

The girl was quiet for a long time, before she suddenly wrung her hand around his, and he could feel her fire beneath her skin, mixing with his own.

_"Do you think that my Mama is with your family in the sky since we're together?"_

The boy blinked, before smiling, squeezing her hand reassuringly. _"I have no reason to say no. I bet my Mama would love to talk with yours."_ The girl chuckled softly, and she cuddled close to the boy while they looked at the sky together.

\------------------------

_"You'll be safe, right?"_

The girl rolled her eyes, before pressing an innocent kiss on the boy's cheek. _"I'll be perfectly fine, McClain. I'll bring the bastard back, so you can interrogate him as much as you like."_

The boy was not comforted for once by the girl's reassurance. _"He's the one that killed my family, I don't want him to take you too."_

 _"I have Anton with me, he'll protect the Queen of the mafia, I promise."_ The girl laughed, and the boy finally relaxed, but the frown was still on his face.

_"I still want to be there with you."_

_"You know you have to make sure nothing goes wrong here. This is war we're talking about, love."_ The girl said, a serious look on her face as she cupped the boy's cheek. _"Don't worry; you're sending your best to end this mess."_

 _"I'll miss you."_ The boy pouted, the girl busting into laughter and smacking his arm playfully.

_"Stop that! You look better while smiling."_

_"I'll smile when you come back."_ The boy sighed, but grinned and planted a chaste kiss on her lips. _"I'll be waiting."_

 _"You won't have to for long."_ The girl promised, and with a final look, she walked out the door.

\-----------------------

 _"What do you mean?!"_ The boy screamed in fury at his beaten and bleeding right hand man, the older man looking down in deep shame.

_"I'm sorry, Jefe. She's gone. That bastard shot her right in front of me; told me to tell you that he wanted to end this war mono-a-mono. He challenged you to a duel at the Square."_

The boy was tremoring, slamming his hands on his table as he snarled at Anton. _"You were supposed to protect her! She was **only person** you were supposed to fucking focus on! How the fuck did you manage to..." _ The boy's voice cracked as his arms gave out, his hands covering his face as tears streamed ruthlessly down his cheeks. _"You had one job."_

 _"I'm so, so sorry Jefe."_ The right hand cried, shaking as he fought to contain himself. _"They were on us before I could react."_

 _"Sorry means nothing."_ The boy monotonously spoke, and the right hand nodded, tears falling down his face. The crime boss stood up, a shadow crossing his face as he retrieved his knife and shotgun, not missing a beat as he walked past Anton; and the right hand could feel the ice building around the boy's soul, snuffing out the fire that once burned lively inside.

 _"I'll end this myself."_ The boy spoke, shutting the door behind him with a slam.

\--------------------------

It wasn't raining like in those action movies that Melody forced him to watch; with the final battle between good and evil. 

But the boy knew that this wasn't a battle between the protagonist and the antagonist.

 This was a war between two great evils, trying to destroy the other in attempt to become the strongest. It wasn't even the final battle; perhaps there would _never be_ a final fight in the crime boss's life.

The sky was clear as the moon shown brightly and lit the boy's path, the land quiet as if holding its breath. The boy's steps were soft, but his stiff posture reeked of a readiness to fight. He knew what he was up against, and a niggling fear of _'What if I'm not good enough?'_ echoed in the boy's thoughts. He had to push down the bile that built up in his throat, clenching his teeth and hands to remind himself what was going to happen.

_"There you are, my dear Lottie. I was getting the feeling that you weren't going to show up."_

The boy stopped at the voice that he hadn't heard in years; but instead of relief or happiness, he only felt hatred. Even the nickname fueled the ice to rapture in anger as the boy looked up at the old man standing in front of him, his stance full of smugness.

 _"You've grown since the last time I saw you."_ The old man inquired, and the boy's grip on his knife tightened.

 _"Things have changed since we've last seen one another."_ The boy quipped, his frozen eyes piercing into the other's. _"Why?"_ The boy asked soon after, not giving the old man to process much of his words before he grinned savagely.

_"Why what, dear Lottie Dottie?"_

_"Why did you do all this?"_ The boy's voice was a whisper, but his eyes gleamed brightly in the moonlight, the icy oceans in his eyes howling for the old man's blood but being barely contained.

 _"Because your father was weak. His bloodline was weak. He was a thorn in my side ever since he refused my offer."_ The man snarled, but kept his grin as he stepped forward, his fedora tipping a bit at the sudden movement. _"You're just as poor-minded as he was. You refuse to acknowledge the fact of what we are. You refuse to see how much power we could have if we work together and take over Cuba!"_

 _"I know what we are,"_ The boy barked back, stepping a step forward himself _"We're monsters; criminals that hide in the shadows and do their petty work in the background. We're a necessary evil that the world must have in order to keep the peace!"_

_"We could be so much more than that though, can't you see?!" The old man laughed. "Of course you don't. We don't have to be like this! The McClain doesn't have be spit on anymore, if we just band together-"_

_"No."_ The boy interrupted, taking out his knife and pointing it at the man. _"You are just proving the point of what my father tried to send: We are not supposed to be heroes. We were never born heroes, we are not **supposed** to be heroes! We're filth!"_

_"We don't have to be!"_

_"It's not our choice to have."_ The boy snapped, _"You want to take over Cuba using violence and fear. You want to brainwash the people into thinking that we're the good guys. It will never work; don't you understand?! You won't get me to join you by killing our entire family, and you won't get others to join you by killing their loved ones either!"_

 _"We'll see about that."_ The old man chuckled, and indicated that their talk was over when he pulled out his heavy pistol. _"If you won't join me, then you shall join my brother and his disgusting bloodline!"_

Focus.

The boy inhaled softly, a cold chill taking over his body as he lunged at the old man, knife bared in his palm as the ground shifted under his weight. Everything seemed to slow down as the man pulled the trigger, the boy sensing beforehand and rolling just in time. The boy launched himself at the old man, howling in anger as he swung his blade at his adversary's neck. The old man grunted, catching the boy's hand and twisting it, the younger hissing in pain before swinging his leg and hitting the old man's hip. He yelped and let go, the boy bouncing away and shaking his wrist  quickly before launching himself at the man again, the older snarling as shooting his pistol at the boy.

He was a second too late, as he felt agony burst into his knee, the boy crying out in pain and falling to the ground holding his right leg as he shook. He heard to old man chuckle, reloading his pistol  and walking up to the boy, hitting the butt of the gun onto the boy's head and causing him to grunt in pain as black spots appeared in his vision.

 _"How does it feel to be the one that is tortured?"_  The old man's voice echoed in the boy's ears. The younger crime boss groaned, feeling blood trickle down his face and joining the pool of blood created by the gunshot wound in his knee. The boy gripped his knife tighter, trying to focus on the old man as he pointed the pistol at the younger's face. With a huff, the boy suddenly threw out his shotgun, shooting the old man in the hip, the older howling in pain as he toppled onto the ground, grasping his side in agony.

The boy heaved himself up, trying to put the least amount of pressure on his leg as possible as he stood, shaking his head at the old man.

 _"Did you really think I brought a knife to a gunfight, tio?"_ The boy gasped out, and the old man tried to scramble away as he stepped closer to the older man. _"You underestimated me greatly. Don't worry though; everyone does that."_ Picking up the pistol that was hazardly thrown to the side in the old man's shock and pain, the boy pocketed the weapon and pointed his own gun to the old man's head.

 _"Lottie, please,"_ The old man began to beg, shaking in pain and fear as he looked up at the iced gaze of his nephew. _"We could be great together, fix all the problems you father made-"_

 _"I don't like playing the Judge; you know this, tio."_ The boy once again interrupted the old man, clicking his gun in place. _"But I'm tired of this game. I'm so, so tired. I want to end it **now**." _ The boy closed his frozen eyes, and a single tear streaked down his face as he opened them again. _"So I will play the Executioner, just this once. I hope everyone above understands."_

_"Lottie! Lan-"_

The boy pulled the trigger.

\-----------------------------------

_"Anton, please, I'm fine."_

_"No your not, Jefe! Please, stop lying to me! It's been months since the war ended, yet you're getting more sick! More sick than when I first found you!"_

_"It's not a sickness, Anton."_

_"Then what do you call it?!"_

The boy sighed, running a hand through his ruffled hair. _"It's just... It's a lot to take in, Anton. I don't think-"_ A sudden jump in his voice made the boy choke up, and his right hand's angry expression turned into one of worry.

 _"Anton,I don't think ** I can do this anymore**." _The boy heaved, though no tears were shed down  as images flashed by his eyes; _**screams of his family and the dead look in Melody's eyes as they carried her casket-**_

_"Jefe, you're having another episode, aren't you?! This is the third one today! You need help!"_

_"I don't deserve help."_ The boy spat, gripping the table roughly as his gaze seered into Anton's surprised eyes. _"I derserve everything that's happening to me! The things I've done, the people I've hurt-"_ The boy choked again as more flashes took over his vision; **_the begs of bleeding men and woman, pools of blood, his family sightlessly on the ground as the figures cackled and left the boy to bleed out like the pig he was-_**

Strong hands gripped the boy's shoulders, Anton looking his boss's frozen and cracked eyes that refused to show any emotion except the tears that were fighting to be freed. With a pang, the right hand was reminded that the boy just recently had his sixteenth birthday, and yet he's gone through so much for such a youngster. Anton himself was about two to three times the age of the boy, yet he didn't nearly expirience as much tramua as the crime boss has.

The right hand sighed as he hugged the boy tightly, cradling his head as the teenager shook and finally released a whimper as he gripped Anton's shirt tightly.

_"Anton, I can't feel good emotions anymore. I can't feel happiness, or amusement, or-"_

_"I know, Jefe. It's okay. We'll get you help. You're not alone."_

_"No one can help me now. No one **should** help me. I don't deserve it."  _ The boy's words broke the right hand's heart, and the old man tightened his embrace.

_"Everyone can be saved, Jefe."_

_"Then why didn't I save them? Why **couldn't I save them?!** "_ The boy choked, _"I deserve to die like they did. I deserve to be killed like I killed tio. I deserve to be tortured like I did with all those innocent people-"_

_"They weren't innocent, Jefe. You only hurt those that have hurt others."_

_"But did they deserve what I did to them?"_ The boy whispered. _"I'm just as corrupt as tio was. I'm worse-"_

 _"No you're not!"_ Anton exclaimed, _"Jefe, you're the most kind man I've ever come across."_

 _"Then you've been with some horrible people."_ The boy laughed humorlessly, _"You deserve better."_

 _"You do too, Jefe."_ The right hand pressed.

 _"I deserve nothing but pain."_ The crime boss responded, making Anton sigh again as he pat the boy's head before breaking the hug.

_"Jefe, you deserve happiness. I swear I will do my best to prove that to you."_

_"You don't need-"_

_"I want to, and you always said I should do things that I want to do. Well, as long as it doesn't break your guidelines, that is."_ Anton chuckled, though a hollow pang shot through him when the boy's ice didn't do so much as crack. Smiling sadly, the right hand sat with the crime boss as he rode out his episode, Anton humming a soft tune until the boy fell asleep.

\----------------------------

_"Anton-"_

_"I know, I know, I'm just excited for you!"_ The right hand cheered, the crime boss rolling his eyes as his gaze focused back on the acceptance letter. The boy had sent an application a few months ago, and the response came back only a few days before departure. Kind of a dick move, the boy would say, but either way he felt a tinge of a positive feeling shiver through his chest as he read the letter over again.

_"Did you pack everything? Did you make sure you have enough clothes and shoes and-"_

_"Yes Anton, I have everything."_ The boy sighed, before he was suddenly tugged into a tight hug as the right hand struggled not to cry.

_"You've grown up so fast! I can barely believe you're the same boy your father let me hold all those years ago!"_

_"Anton, I've been your boss for more than three years."_ The boy drawled.

 _"I know!"_ THe right hand hiccuped, the boy wiggling out of the hug as his ride to the Garrison arrived. _"You be good, alright?!"_ The right hand yelled as the boy took off.

 _"Since when have I ever been good?!"_ The boy shouted back, managing to wink at Anton before he jumped onto the plane, waving nonchalontly as the right hand went into a sob fest. 

The boy sat down, looking out the window as the plane took off, resting his head on the cushine behind him.

It was going to be a long ride.

\------------------------------

"H-Hello," The boy tried out his english to the receptionist, who looked up at him questioningly. "A-Ah, _mierda,_ I'm here for room and board?"

"Name?" The receptionist boredly asked, the boy gulping nervously.

"McClain?" A glitter of sweat formed on the back of his neck as the lady raised an eyebrow.

"First name?"

"L-Lancelot." The boy had to remember enligh pronounciation as he sounded out his own name, cursing inside his head as surely he must have sounded like an idiot in front of this woman. Lance made the goal to almost never talk during his time here, just so he didn't have to embarrass himself anymore than he had to. 

She gave no indication she was annoyed however as she quickly typed down Lance's name into her computer, printing something before ripping it out and handing the paper to the boy in front of her.

"Th-Thank you." Lance hastily said, turning to the cooridors and checking his room number. When he got in, his mind immediately flew into a panic as he saw more than one bed in the vicinity. Oh dear god and stars, he had to share a room with _other people_ , didn't he?

Oh yeah, like his diagnosed PTSD and depression would surely be okay with going the fuck away while he was interacting with others. Because of his... _status_ at home, he wasn't able to get proper medication (to clarify, any doctor seeing _Lancelot McClain_ as a patient for drugs would probably think the worst) , but the trusted therapist told Lance to take deep breaths whenever he felt an episode come on. Anton also said that he'd write to Lance whenever he could.

But what if a rival mafia band attacked base? What if the enemy found out where Lance was? What if-

A knocking on the door threw the boy out of his stupor, and he blinked in confusion as he stepped to the door and opened the door, having to look up to meet the face of the boy in front of him.

"U-Uh, hey!" The dark skinned boy (well, darker skinned? Lance wasn't exactly white either) nervously said, as if the look of Lance scared him or something. His resting bitch face must be activated, Lance mused.

"What do you need?" Lance asked, his monotonous voice making the boy shiver.

"Uh, I think I live here with you? My key wasn't working so-"

"You should get that checked out."

"Huh? Uh, yeah, I guess." The boy nervously laughed, and something in Lance spoke _'protect this poor child',_ but the boy shook the thought away as he stood to the side to let his new roommate in.

"My name's Tsuyoshi, by the way." The boy smiled at Lance taking out his hand, the Latino boy flinching a bit at the sudden movement, as a picture of Melanie's dead hand stretching towards Lance's own flashed in his vision. The taller boy looked at his hand in confusion, as if he had done something wrong, and Lance cured at himself once again for being such a coward and that PTSD was such a bitch-

"Lance," The boy pushed out through his degrading thoughts, forcing a hand to grip Tsuyoshi's own. The other boy jumped, but smiled through his nervousness as he shook Lance's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Lance!"

"Likewise," Lance tried to match the boy's grin, but something in his chest tugged painfully and it erased his smile quickly. He quickly hugged himself in comfort as he directed the boy's attention to the beds. "You can have any one, I don't really care."

"You got here before me! You should have first pick!" Tsuyoshi insisted, and Lance felt panic shake his heart.

No more choosing for others, no more choosing, _please, **he didn't want to choose anymore-**_

"Sure, thanks." Lance hissed out, and his roommate flinched at the tone of his voice, making Lance want to punch himself in irritation. Why can't he fucking do anything right?!

Without letting himself think too much, he flung himself onto the closest bed, hiding his face in the pillow, and he immediately missed his bed back in Cuba. One of the many things he'd have to get used to in this fresh start, Lance supposed as he groaned.

"Not very comfortable, are they?" Tsuyoshi chuckled, making Lance lift his head and nod in agreement.

"Not home." Lance whispered, and he immediately regretted it as a flash of the beach came into his vision, and he could almost hear Melanie's laughs and the twins' _**shrieks as the guns fired and killed Mama in front of them-**_

"Yeah, not home." Tsuyoshi agreed, and the visions stopped again as Lance shook his head. "I'm from Samoa, where did you fly from?"

"Cuba," Lance replied.

"Woah, really?! That's so cool! I just thought you were from America." Tsuyoshi stammered, making his roommate raise an eyebrow.

"Why would you think that?" Lance asked, slightly irritated. Like, what the hell-

"Because you're English is so good!"

...Fuck, this kid is too kind for his own kind.

"Thanks," Lance responded, fighting a blush of embarrassment and weird positive emotions he couldn't name because _how it's been so long-_ "You're English is pretty good too." 

"Gosh," Tsuyoshi stuttered. "Thank you! I honestly think it's pretty bad-"

"Don't think that," Lance interrupted, his roommate shutting up in surprise. "It's perfect. You're perfect just the way you are. _Oh fuck and I said that out loud._ " Lance's blush grew as he collapsed his English and Spanish together as he made himself yet again a total idiot in front of his only chance of getting a single friend-

Tsuyoshi blushed, rubbing his neck as he looked away. "Th-Thanks, uh, I think you're awesome too. And like, this all sounds stupid 'cause we just met-"

"It's fine, I sound dumb too." Lance covered his face in embarrassment. "Let's be friends, okay?"

His roommate sighed deeply in relief, nodding in excitement. "Yes, friends."

They shook on it.

\---------------------------------------

Lance gasped as he clutched the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white, his eyes refusing to close as visions made him spasm in fear and agony.

Images of blood and figments of familiar screams and sobs bounced around Lance's mind, making the boy shake as he gasped for air that refused to enter his lungs.

He didn't save them. He hurt them so much. Melanie and the rest of his family died because his inability to protect them. Melody died because because of his stupid decision. Tio died because of his emotions. His emotions that now plagued him because _ **he just couldn't feel anymore like a monster that mercilessly killed his victims like the times he tortured those people that screamed like his siblings and begged like his Mama, 'Please, don't do this!'  and dear god **__**please make it stop stop stop stop stop STOP-**_

Lance started laughing like the broken man he was, tears fleeing his eyes and soaking the bed under him as he clutched his face tightly as if trying to tear it off. He was so tired of living and breathing and not feeling and the pain in his heart was **_so fucking cold-_**

_"You should smile more."_

 

_"Smile! It'll make you feel better!"_

_"Stop that! You look better while smiling."_   

Lance removed his hands from his face, tears still free-falling from his eyes as he shook; but there was a new feeling inside him this time. A feeling of wanting to be better, to be bigger than he was now. He could do this; he could restart. All he had to do was _smile_.

So, no matter how fake he felt, no matter how much he was screaming from the pain and loneliness and guilt and agony...

He smiled.

\-------------------------------

_Dear Jefe,_

_My dear Petunia gave birth to our second daughter today. She's so beautiful; I wish you were here to see her. She popped out smiling and giggling like a schoolgirl when she sees her crush. I bet you'll love her, as she has blue eyes, like you! In fact, it was because of her gorgeous eyes that we named her Lancelot._

_Now please, before you freak out and start writing to me why that's the worst decision we've ever made: It was my choice, okay? I refuse to feel guilty about naming her after the strongest man I know. Besides, Lucie sounds like a wonderful nickname, or maybe just Lance, like you? That'll get confusing when she grows up, won't it?_

_I also can't help but use her to guilt trip you to visit us the second you're on holiday. The Garrison allows that kind of thing, right? Please tell me yes, my wife really wants you home for Christmas; and Ephie wants to see you again. You're a hero in her eyes, you know. Even if you don't believe it yourself, at least know that someone calls you their role model._

_Anyways, I hope your episodes have gotten better, now that you're away from Cuba and the mafia. Things are going perfectly fine in the mob; I'm managing it just fine by myself. You were right when you said that I'd be a good fit for the job, I believe. I still miss your shuffling around the place though, and the times you sang and danced when you thought no one was around. You reminded so much of your mother when you did that; you have a wonderful voice, you know. I hope you're still singing at the Garrison. I wonder if Ephie will start to sing too when I tell her?_

_I kid; I won't tell her if you teach her to sing when you get back._

_Write back soon!_

_Your faithful right hand man,_

_Anton_

 

Tears dropped down Lance's cheeks as he reread the letter for what seemed like the thousandth time; shaking as his hand involuntarily crumpled the parchment. Anton probably thought he was dead after all, as it had been months since Lance got this letter and had to time to write one back before he was thrown into this mess

 _"Little cub, do you need to talk?"_ Blue's voice echoed in Lance's head as he rubbed his eye.

 _"No Beautiful, just reminding myself what I'm fighting for."_ Lance grinned through his pain, trying to erase the empty cold that swallowed his heart. Closing the letter and putting it under his bed, he relaxed back on the mattress. 

To be honest, the more he pretended the easier it was to convince even himself that nothing was wrong with his life. Spending time with Hunk and Pidge jump-started a lot of his positive feelings again, but there was still that _**binding fear**_ that something might happen to them at any time that kept him from getting any closer to them. There were times when he desperately just wanted to crash and tell them everything; but he held those bindings tightly. In fact, if he could, he'd hold them until he died; where the truth could be buried with him.

 _"I'm honestly surprised that you've made it this far, but the past catches up to all of us sooner or later_  ." His younger self's words echoed in his ears, and Lance had to squeeze his eyes shut tightly to block out the whispers. How the hell does his brain even remember that?! He supposed that's just it's quirk, next to being completely fucked. Lance chuckled at his own choice of words before he stood up, throwing on his father's jacket before stepping out into the castle's halls.

He could faintly hear Keith training (something that he needs to remind himself that he should get into again; he's been unintentionally slacking and he knew it pissed the red paladin off greatly. As much as he pretends he like pissing Keith off it actually kinda scares him into a near panic attack whenever he yells at him), and Hunk cooking up a storm in the kitchen. The smell tugged the blue paladin into his Mama's kitchen, the radio blasting music and his much younger version dancing clumsily to the music. Lance closed his eyes again as he allowed the memory to pass through him, as this vision seemed much more passive than the others. He smiled genuinely as his young self sang the music off-key, Melanie laughing at him when he catches his mistake and covers his mouth in embarrassment. In a second, the younger Lance was _ **covering his mouth to hide his screams as he shivered in the corner alone in his father's office, his back spasming as the bullets pierced into his spine and his tio laughing as he shot into his nephew's knee-**_

Lance gasped as he slammed into the wall, confusion and embarrassment filling him as he heard Pidge laugh from across the room. 

"How the hell did you even manage that?!" The green paladin snickered, Lance immediately painting a grin on his face as he chuckled with them, scratching his head.

"Honestly, I have no idea. Just kinda spaced out I guess." 

Pidge rolled their eyes, then patted the space next to them. "Wanna hear about my newest invention?"

"You know I would love to Pidgeon, but I gotta go ask Shiro something. Tell me when I get back?" The green paladin rolled their eyes, nodding. Lance finger-gunned their way before leaving back into the corridors. A pang in his heart told him to just be with Pidge, but he fought against it as he looked for the black paladin, his feet dragging as the visions started to swarm his mind.

 _"Fuck off,"_ He growled, as if that would deter the gruesome images that invaded his sight. Horrific images of **_cut off fingers, ripped off nails, chunks of skin and clumps of bloodied hair with the screams of the tortured that were scratching at his ears that pleaded for him to 'stop, please stop'-_**

"Lance?" 

The blue paladin snapped back into reality and blanched at how close Shiro was to Lance _like how long as he been standing there just looking at him go through an episode-_

"'Sup?" Lance choked out, slapping a grin onto his face as he faced the black paladin. Shiro titled his head in question, concern evident in his eyes as he placed his human hand onto Lance's shoulder.

"You were just leaning on the wall with a far away look on your face. Did you get enough sleep last night?"

Lance didn't sleep at all last night.

"Probably not," Lance chuckled, shaking his head at his leader as he brushed off the warm hand. "I'm fine though; I'll be sure to go to sleep early tonight."

Shiro nodded, obviously not convinced but deciding to leave Lance be. The black paladin smiled at the blue paladin as he walked off, and Lance shivered as the frozen feeling came back through his body.

 _"Smile more, bro-bro. You'll be less grumpy if you do."_  

"Alright, alright." Lance grumbled, following where his leader had gone before everything had faded to black.

\------------------------------------------------

 

Lance opened his eyes, feeling very delirious and nauseous, probably from the over use of the 'Mind Meld" machine. It was dead silent except for some heavy breathing that Lance could barely make out. His vision was hazy for a moment, and he squeezed them shut and opened them to focus his sight. When it finally cleared, his stomach jumped as the first thing he saw was Pidge's red and puffy face, tear-tracks obvious on their face. Holding her closely was Hunk, who had a deeply shocked and disturbed look on his own features, and Lance was sickeningly reminded that everything that Lance saw and felt was exactly what the others experienced too.

Lance opened his mouth to say something, anything, to say that everything was fine, nothing will change. 

But he knew that was all a lie. 

He was done lying.

So instead, Lance lowered his head, hugging his arms tightly to his abdomen as he struggled not to loose it. They knew _everything_. They knew of what happened and that he was a big fat fucking lie and a murderer and a monster. They knew how much he didn't belong and how much he deserved to _just die_ -

A pair of warm hands cupped Lance's face, shock making the blue paladin jump before the hands forced him to look up at Keith. His cheeks were stained with tears and his face was turned into the deepest frown Lance had ever saw. Lance opened his mouth to say something yet again, but couldn't as the red paladin suddenly hugged him, supporting his head and burying his face into the blue paladin's neck as he began crying again.

Lance just sat there frozen, pure confusion making his body stiff. This wasn't supposed to happen, how and why was this happening and why was Keith so _fucking warm?!_ He jumped again as suddenly more weight was pressed onto the two and Lance saw Shiro joining the hug, holding back his own tears as he looked at Lance with a big yet saddened smile. Soon Pidge and Hunk also added their own warmth, and Lance finally felt his mask break into thousands of unrecoverable pieces as big tears fled down his eyes, and he released a loud sob that he felt that he had held in for _so fucking long and it was out and he was free. He was free and it was **real**._

"I'm not okay." Lance choked out, and he saw Shiro nod solemnly.

"And that's _okay_." His leader said, and Lance felt himself break down into more sobs and loud crying as the Paladins hugged their blue paladin for hours.

Lance was free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests are read AND appreciated!


	6. Torn (SU Klance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two mysterious corrupted gems are found by a small human girl one day; who knew that they'd be the key to her biggest adventure yet.

  
"Lance! Stop snuggling with Keith and get over here!" The young girl pouted, the miniature blue lion-like form in question huffing and nuzzling into his red counterpart's rugged mane, receiving a content purr in response. Allura placed her small hands on her hips, stomping her foot in irritation.

"My dear niece, I don't think that's how to command gems such as these." Allura's uncle, Coran, walked up to her, placing a soft hand on her shoulder. The human child sighed, looking downcast.

"I know, it's just annoying that they don't listen to me at all!" Allura whined, earning her a chuckle from her uncle.

"Beryls tend to only listen to other Beryls. And even then I do not know if their corrupted forms listen to anyone." Coran informed his niece. Allura's uncle was very interested in the aliens known as the Diamond Authority ever since he was kid; and had done some deep research into their communities through the history the living gems left after a war on Earth thousands of years ago.

Though many called Coran crazy for putting all his studying into gemology and geology for the sake of 'rock aliens' that apparently tried to take over the planet before humans even made governments. Communities shunned the man, and soon only his niece, Allura, was his company as he lived at the edge of the beach inside an old gem temple that he claimed was created by a team of super gem warriors that fought against the Diamond Authority and used the exact temple as their base.

Allura loved hearing Coran's stories about the rebels that saved Earth from becoming another gem colony, and especially enjoyed her uncle's theories about the team of gems that banded together to shatter the tyrant Purple Diamond and brung peace to the planet. Although they left nearly no trace of ever being there; the only thing that still stood was the temple Coran was currently living in, the giant V-shaped insignia standing proudly at the entrance of the base.

Coran suspected that the group of warriors fled Earth when the Diamond Authority activated a super-weapon that nearly tore the Earth apart. The power of the blast (or song, as Coran described it) corrupted all the gems on the planet; both rebellion and Diamond Authority soldiers had been decimated by the hit. In the carnage stood shells of once all-powerful gems; morphed into beasts and mindless monsters that, in theory, would destroy everything in their path.

Instead, Coran explained, the 'Corrupted' fled into isolated areas of Earth, where they continued to live peacefully, and away from humans. Which is why Allura's uncle was so surprised to see his niece one day bring home a pair of corrupted gems. Upon further inspection, Coran realized that they were both a type of Beryl: the blue one being an Aquamarine and the red one being a Red Beryl (also called a Bixbite, Coran excitedly said). Which would probably explain why they looked practically the same despite their colors.

The two miniature winged lions were an odd pair of gems, always roughhousing around the beach and sleeping together in the temple. The two were hardly ever apart; even when they got into dangerous fights, they made up before the day is over. Allura always loved to play with the Aquamarine's mane, as it was more fluffy and soft (like a cloud, Allura inquired) than the Red Beryl's mane, which was coarse and spiked. Though at times the Bixbite (nicknamed Keith by Coran's niece) would get jealous of the constant attention of the Aquamarine (Lance, Coran named him) being taken away by the small girl, and would start growling at the human child until she backed off.

"Do not worry, Allura." Coran had chuckled one day when this had happened. "Red gems are usually more irritable than most."

Still, as much as the two gems were good company and fun to watch, Coran still wondered why they were close enough to society to be found by his niece. Corrupted, as said before, normally never interacted with humans and usually ran away when they see any other lifeforms. So why didn't this pair of gems flee at the slight sense that Allura was near?

Coran supposed he'd find out sooner or later.

  
Lance laid close to Keith on the beach, his jagged teeth showing as he opened his mouth in a loud yawn; obviously tired from the long day of playing with his mate. The Red Beryl flicked his tail at the Aquamarine, snorting in amusement when the blue gem nearly nodded off right there and then. Though as much as Keith would've loved to snuggle in the sand and take a long nap, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen. Lance sensed the Red Beryl's apprehension, and struggled to stay awake with him so he could see what was up.

"Lance! Keith! Please come here!" Allura called, yet the pair barely budged as they both looked into the distance, their ears flicking together as if communicating. The human child huffed, turning pink with agitation and looking at her uncle.

"This is impossible!" Allura pouted, Coran humming and scribbling on his paper, recording the unsuccessful attempt to get the Beryls to listen to them.

A sudden rumble frightened the two humans however, the uncle pushing his niece into the temple as he looked into the sky and seeing a ship in the distance. His eyes widened in shock and fear, gasping lightly as he saw the two corrupted gems quickly get up and start yowling. The two seemed to spastically jump around each other, soon circling around one another; Coran vaguely connected it to some sort of dance.

His heart started to race as the ship drew closer to the beach, and he shouted in surprise as Allura suddenly rushed past him.

"What are you doing?! Get back here now!" Coran shouted, panicking as the girl didn't stop running towards the two corrupted gems.

"They need to get inside! I have to save them!" Allura yelled back, but before she could reach the pair the ship landed in front of her, knocking her to the ground. Fear seeped into Allura's bones as she looked up at the vehicle, shaking as the front of the ship opened up, revealing three figures of varying size.

Her vision was blocked however as a big purple lion jumped in front of her; its wings outstretched threateningly as it snarled and growled at the invaders. Allura heard loud gasps before footsteps drew closer, and she peeked from behind the lion to see a tall and muscular figure come forward, his skin grey and hair black with a white tuft for bangs. Allura's breathing stopped when she saw a big black V on his white armor. His eyes were wide with emotion as he held out his hand to the purple lion, and with slight hesitation the beast pressed its muzzle into his palm.

"You were here after all this time," The fall figure whispered, and a small tear streaked down his face as he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry it took so long to come back."

The big purple lion purred loudly before a bright light engulfed it, Allura's eyes widening as her cover dissipated into a familiar pair of corrupted gems. Lance and Keith bounced around the figure, yowling loudly and rubbing against his legs. He laughed and patted their heads, but caught Coran running over to Allura and holding her for protection.

"And who are you?" Coran questioned, pointing an accusing finger at the figure, who seemed shocked at the new additions of life forms. The miniature lions got more excited as two more figures came up to the tall figure, the smaller of the three squealing and bending down to pick up Lance and started to talk in another language. The other new one started to cry, petting Lance and sniffling as Keith rubbed against its legs.

"I am Goshenite," The tallest figure introduced himself, bowing to the two humans in front of him. "I am the lead Paladin of my squad. I came here with my two soldiers, Emerald and Heliodor, to search Earth for our missing teammates." The figure smiled as he glanced at the two lions, before redirecting his attention to the humans. "I'm glad that even after all these years, they were still at home."

"Home?" Allura asked, excitement bubbling up in her core. "The temple is your home?"

"Aquamarine, Bixbite, Goshenite, Emerald, Heliodor..." Coran whispered before his eyes widened at the realization. "You are a team of Beryls! You're all the same type of gem!"

Goshenite nodded, chuckling. "It seems that humans have gotten quite smart over hundreds of years. Good to know our fight wasn't in vain."

"You're the super-warriors!" Coran blurted out, and the white gem's smile widened even more.

"Yes, with my team altogether, we fused to become Voltron." The five Beryls stood together, the two corrupted proudly ruffling their manes as they pressed against their teammates' legs.

"We are the defenders of Earth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might make this an entire story on its own; but honestly I kinda just want it to stay here for all my readers to enjoy! I might add more parts to this but I highly doubt it'll be anything like the Mafia Lance series haha
> 
> Requests are read AND appreciated!


	7. Thoughtful (Langst will a bit of side Klance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is captured right under the noses of the Voltron team and replaced. Worst thing is, they have no idea that the real one if gone until it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaah so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I hope this will suffice!

He woke up to a dark room, pain throughout his entire body making him choke out and quake in agony. Panic and confusion filled him when he found that he had no idea where he was.

Or who he was.

Letting his eyes adjust, he could make out scratchings on the wall and blood splatters checkered the words that seemed to have been hastily slashed into the metal. The most noticeable marking was a giant V on the wall, and names that the prisoner could not make out were surrounding the letter.

His body stiffened when other words popped out at him as his hazy brain cleared.

**DO NOT FORGET THEM**

**YOU ARE BLUE**

Blue? Was that his name? It was a start, at least. As for the " _them_ ", he felt uncomfortable that he couldn't remember what the wall was yelling at him to not forget.

Blue sat up, groaning in pain as his leg screamed at him to stop. Looking at his arms, bleeding cuts and black bruises littered his limbs, and he shivered when he realized that all he was wearing was a low-cut rag for a shirt and torn-apart shorts. The fabric felt like nothing Blue could connect to, making him remember that he had literally no memory to speak of. No matter how hard he struggled to find something, anything, Blue just drew a blank.

Exhaling the stale breath in his lungs, confusion hit him once again when a white clump fell in front of his face. Grabbing it clumsily and pulling, he immediately stopped when the simple gesture sent spikes of pain into his head. Hair, the thought numbly passing through his brain. For some reason, he didn't think he had white hair. Or hair that he could see, as if he was used to short hair instead of these long clumps that attached themselves to his sticky back and neck. Besides that, Blue found himself happy that he knew that the basic knowledge of body parts and stuff wasn't forgotten with the rest of his memories.

After some building of courage to stand, Blue stumbled closer to the giant V on the wall. The names around the letter were more clear now, the name **_Keith_** was the biggest out of all of them. Other names like _**Pidge**_ , **_Lance_** , **_Hunk_** , and **_Shiro_** stood out too, along with **_Allura_** and **_Coran_** on the sidelines. The name **_Lance_** was circled, and the words **_Don't Forget_** were scribbled around it. Who was Lance? Was he the leader of the V team? Was he Blue's best friend? Blue was kind of irritated that the wall was so vague in information. Maybe whoever wrote it was in a hurry, which Blue couldn't blame them; this room was too small and too dark for his liking.

Sitting back down, Blue played with his hair a little longer, and his unconsciously started to braid the small strands. Alright, he remembered how to style his hair, but he doesn't know who Lance was? His memory was kinda bad at keeping in information.

A gleam in the corner caught Blue's eye, and he steadily crawled towards to new item. Grabbing for it, he hissed as new pain sliced into his palm, and blood already started to trail down his arm. The knife was definitely sharp, and he smiled softly at the new information.

Taking the small blade in his hands, Blue examined it closely. It wasn't the cleanest knife he mused, grime rubbing off his bloodied fingers and mixing the red with black. An idea entered his head, and he shakily brought it to the white clump; but he could barely apply any pressure before choking in pain. Feeling around his head, he noticed that it didn't hurt as much in the back, and the pain was only unbearable on the sides.

Releasing a soft sigh, he slowly cut away the hair on the back of his head, careful not to touch the sides too much but managing to shed enough so his ears were free of the white clumps. Soon a large pile of white hair surrounded Blue, and a familiar feeling filled him as he looked at the clumps. He felt like he knew someone else with white hair, but couldn't place a name or face.

Blue frowned at the messy floor, white strands covering red splotches and nail markings, and the prisoner's blood ran cold as it looked like someone struggled to free themselves as they were dragged away into one of the walls. Did the room eat people? Was he next?

Breathing heavily, Blue curled away into a corner; away as much as possible from the scratch markings. Fear encased the boy as he shivered, trying to warm himself and possibly make sense of his situation.

But he found nothing. 

 

It felt like forever before a screeching noise awakened Blue from his doze, and suddenly the wall farthest from him opened up. Light pooled into the room, making him squeeze his eyes shut for a moment before opening them to see two large figures step inside his prison.

"Come with us." One figure snarled, the voice making Blue cower in fear and press closer to the corner. The action only seemed to anger the figures, and they stomped over to their prisoner and yanked on his arm. Blue howled in pain as he was forced to stand and follow the figures; their grip on his wounded limb only tightening as he struggled. 

"Wh-Where am I? Wh-Who are you?!" Blue hiccuped, earning a sneer from the figures in front of him.

"Haggard must've done you in good if you don't remember who we are." One of figures snidely said, reaching over and pulling on his front hair harshly. He nearly fainted from the excruciating pain, and Blue sobbed as he weakly tried tugging the harsh hand away. Chuckling darkly, the figure let go, but not before tugging again to make the prisoner scream.

The figures stopped in front of a wall, somehow opening it and throwing Blue into the room. More figures stood in the middle with a large metal slab between them. A figure in a long robe stood in front of the figures, and it scowled when Blue stumbled in and nearly collapsed.

"Get him on here." The hooded figure rasped, and the others quickly picked Blue up and cuffed him to the cold sheet of metal. Blue whimpered as he shook, and he opened his mouth to ask a question before he was suddenly drenched in freezing cold water.

"Wha-?!" A sickening feeling encased Blue, as if his body was warning him of something; something very dangerous. He struggled not to vomit as another wave of water hit him, soaking his skin and chilling his bones.

"Who are you?" The hooded figure asked Blue, and he shivered at the hissing tone.

"I-I don't know!" Blue shook out, squeezing his eyes shut as water splashed into his face and causing him to choke.

"Where are you from?"

"I don't know!" Another hit.

"Who do you fight for?"

"What? I don't-" More water.

"Do it."

Blue screamed as the figures pulled a lever, and electricity entered their prisoner's system freely. He jerked and stuttered without control as agonizing shocks covered every inch of his body; his mind nearly going blank at the pain, and he saw nothing but the sparks that took over his vision. Foam started form at Blue's lips as he let out choked screams of agony.

As fast as it started, the electricity stopped shocking the prisoner; yet he still jolted from leftover energy exiting his system. He gasped for air as his lungs spasmed to work again. The hooded figure merely examined him as he shook.

"Wh-Why are you doing this?" Blue whispered, and the figure sneered. Bile hit his throat as another wave of water encased him. He was ready for the electricity this time, but it didn't stop the agonizing pain that raced through him. He screamed as the shocks wracked through him; and the cloaked figure smiled as black spots covered his vision.

**DON'T FORGET THEM**

**Y O U  A R E  B L U E**

\-------------

 _"Where the fuck is he?!"_ Shiro yelled at the Galra, the prisoner only chuckling before choking in pain as the black paladin punched his face again. Pidge sobbed in the background as Hunk held them, the fear and anger radiating off of them as they watched their leader interrogate the Galra.

Shiro still couldn't believe that they were tricked into thinking that this piece of _trash_ was Lance. How long was the real blue paladin gone?! How could they be so stupid?! Self-loathing tears streaked down Shiro's face as he stopped hitting the Galra to grip his hair. This was his fault. He should've done something when he noticed that Lance wasn't acting the same.

Despite his sly and joyful attitude, the _real_ Lance had other feelings too. The _real_ Lance had told the Paladins that he had general anxiety. The _real_ Lance knew when to go to a teammate when he wasn't feeling okay or safe. The _real_ Lance loved taste testing with Hunk, loved listening to Pidge's babbles about technology, loved training with Keith; and he loved talking to Shiro about Earth and reminiscing about the Garrison and how happy and easy life was at home.

The _real_ Lance was part of the family.

Shiro should've known something was up when Lance started acting like his old self; just nothing but jokes and laughs all around. The _real_ Lance learned to trust the Paladins enough to talk about his family and homesickness, while the 'new' Lance barely talked about Earth at all. The 'new' Lance wouldn't play with the mice or talk with Allura about the mission; he would just escape into his room. He only came out to do missions, in which he would ignore all of the Paladins' questions and crack another pun. 

Shiro had just marked off Lance's attitude change as going through a tough time. Shiro told Lance again and again that he could talk to the leader when he was ready. The 'new' Lance would just shrug and smirk before disappearing back into his room.

How long had the _real_ Lance been gone? How long did it take for the Voltron team to notice the change? How long was the _real_ Lance gone _before_ they noticed?!

Shiro released an uncontrolled sob as he bowed his head, feeling Keith's hand grip his shoulder in comfort. The red paladin himself was shaking with fury and sadness, angry tears streaking down his face as he scowled at the Galra before him.

"Where is Lance?" Keith asked the leader's initial question to their prisoner, and the response made Shiro's blood freeze.

" _Lance_ is dead." The Galra laughed, spitting out a fang and sneering at them. "He's been dead for a while now." Shiro heard Pidge erupt into more panicked screams as Hunk choked on his breath, Keith himself having to step back to control himself. But the prisoner continued.

"Who knows what shell of a person took his place now. Haggard made sure he forgot even his own name! You wouldn't even recognize the little maggot if you saw him..."

  
"Fuck you!" Keith finally snapped, launching himself at the Galra and giving the prisoner a swift kick in the head. Shiro held him back before he could do anymore damage, containing his own hatred and fear. He needed to be their strong leader right now; _Lance_ needed Shiro to be a strong leader right now.

Unfortunately Keith had already done enough damage to knock the Galra out, and Shiro sighed in irritation, as now they had to wait even longer to find out where Lance, or whoever he was now, could be.

"Paladins!" Allura quickly jogged into the room, a look of excitement on her face making Shiro smile softly. "I have found where the blue paladin is!"

The Paladins jolted, immediately filling the room with questions and making the Altean shout over them so they could hear.

"I have found the Galran battleship in which Lance has been taken prisoner. But sources say it is heavily defended, and even Zarkon's lead druid is currently residing in the ship. The mission will be very difficult, if we choose to attack-"

"Of course we will attack!" Pidge shouted, determination fueling them as they jumped up from Hunk's arms. "Lance is in there! We _have_ to save him!" The other Paladins nodded furiously, and despite Shiro's frustration with the green paladin for interrupting the princess, he couldn't agree more with Pidge.

"We will save Lance. No matter who he thinks he is or who we are." Shiro instructed, the Paladins and princess nodding in agreement.

"D-Do you really think Lance forgot everything?" Hunk shakingly asked, sorrow filling the room as the idea of the cheerful blue paladin having no idea who his teammates were.

"I hope not, but we have to be prepared for it." The black paladin stated, the princess walking to his side and lightly gripping his hand in comfort. The warmth of the Altean made Shiro a bit bubbly inside, but he forced himself to focus at the task at hand.

"Even if he did forget, Coran and I could probably do something to help him remember." Allura announced, and the Paladins relaxed slightly.

"When do we leave?" Keith asked, obviously ready to go at that exact moment.

"Tomorrow." Shiro informed, and the team quickly separated to get ready. The black paladin sighed as he looked out into space, willing Lance to be safe.

"Don't worry, we'll find you." Shiro murmured, and he felt Allura tighten her grip on his hand.

\-------------------------------------

Blue groggily woke up to the sound of blaring alarms. He groaned weakly as he shifted from his corner, blindly curling into a tighter ball as he heard footsteps rushing towards his room. Blue had long lost track of how long he remembered being here; the days had no meaning when you never see anyone but the ones who torture you endlessly. Sometimes in his fitful sleep Blue would hear the screams of other people, but could find no empathy for them, as all he could of was how grateful he was that it wasn't him.

Some part of Blue recoiled at such thoughts, and tried to fill Blue with anger for how they were being treated, but it never worked. Maybe if Blue understood what he was being tortured for, he'd have more feelings for the other prisoners that he never saw. What if they were his friends? What if Lance was with them? They could be escaping now for all he knew, and yet he stayed silently in place as his room opened to reveal guards.

They had panicked looks on their faces, and for a moment it seemed like they couldn't see Blue huddled in his corner. The prisoner had to stifle a weak giggle as they finally saw him and tried to look menacing as they grabbed his bruised arms, dragging him out of the cramped cell. Blue winced in pain before working his legs so they wouldn't be scratched on the ground, idly glancing around at the red lights that blared down the lifeless halls.

"We have to take him to Haggard before the Paladins can get here," One of the guards growled, and the other nodded.

"Not like they'll find us anyways, isn't this place tightly secured? They wouldn't dare come here, would they?"

"You'd be surprised at their determination when one of their own is in trouble." The guards gave a collective shiver, filling Blue with confusion. Who were the Paladins? Were they here to save the prisoners? Something made Blue's heart start pounding in excitement, and his ears strained to hear foreign sounds that could signal the Paladins' forthcoming. Maybe they can stop Blue's pain. Maybe they can at least save the other prisoners, so nothing can try to make him guilty about being helpless. Whoever the Paladins were, Blue already held high expectations for them.

His thought trail was broken when the guards shoved him into the room with the water and electricity, and nausea immediately encased Blue as he fell to his knees. He released a choke of fear when a familiar cloak appeared in his vision, and started to scream when the figure pulled at his hair to make him look up.

"Death is upon you, prisoner. Be grateful." The hooded figure croaked, and Blue almost felt sickened at his initial response.

Fact is, he felt relief. Anything to make the pain stop. Anything to make the guilt and fear and anger go away. Anything to make the feeling that _so much of his life was forgotten_ , the feeling like nothing is _worthwhile_ , nothing mattered because _they_ aren't here and he didn't even know who the **_fuck_** _they_ were-

"No," Blue whispered, and the figure sneered before raising its hand and summoning electricity into its palm. Long-forgotten flight-or-fight response activated within Blue at that moment, and for one full moment the only thing on his mind was a will to see them again, to not die like this. How could he just accept death without knowing who he was? Who the names on the wall were? Who **_Keith_** and **_Lance_** were? They were the only names he truly knew, and he couldn't just give up now.

Blue had to live,  _live, **live for** **them** -_

"No," Blue breathed again, and his arm was moving before he could even think to stop it. The hooded figure made the mistake of being too close to the prisoner, and could not react in time to the fist that collided with their face. It screamed in pain and let go of Blue, in which the prisoner jumped up and pushed it onto the sheet of metal that it used so many times on him. Before even thinking of the possibility of how much of a bad idea it was, Blue clamped the hooded torturer to the metal, and dashed out the door with it hollowing and screaming for Blue's blood.

 _Holy fuck, run._ Was the only words in Blue's mind as he dodged guards and scurried through the halls, ignoring his burning limbs and his lungs shivering for breath. He had no idea where he was or where he was going, but a scream from another prisoner redirected his scrambled brain from panic to purpose. Dashing down a hall that burned a hellish light down a sector of gray-brown doors. Blue had no time to question as he saw another guard pulling at a girl in ragged clothes; the same clothes Blue was wearing, yet hers looked a lot cleaner.

Not giving himself to think, Blue launched himself at the guard, grabbing their head and with a rush of strength, slamming it to the wall. The guard fell to the ground with barely a groan and the girl stumbled back, gasping for breath as Blue stared at the fallen guard in horror. He did that. When the fuck did he-

"Blue Paladin?" The girl's meek voice reached Blue's ears, and before he could even think he nodded with the familiar word.

"Yes, I'm Blue." The relief in her eyes quickly made Blue want to punch himself in the face, because he's Blue, but not a Paladin-

"Wait, I didn't-"

"Please, save Matt! He said you know each other! Get him out and he can free all of us!" The girl interrupted him, looking around anxiously "Do you still have the knife he gave you?"

"N-No? But wait-"

"Here, take mine!" The girl shoved the weapon into Blue's hands, and she quickly hopped back and fiddled with the locks on the rusted doors. "Matt's cell is three quadrants down. Get him out, and he can get everyone out and to safety. Quickly, go!" Blue could only nod in panic before taking off in a run down the hall, his mind screaming for answers and filling him with aggravation. It seemed to him that he knew Matt before he lost his memory; but why did the girl confuse him with a Blue Paladin? Was it an odd coincidence, or was there something big that he truly forgot..?

"Hey!" Blue froze at the sound of a guard behind him, and he forced himself to keep going in hopes that he'd out-run his pursuer. Unfortunately that could not be the case, as in a single second Blue heard a gun shot and excruciating pain hit him in his already-fucked-up leg. He released a scream but even then kept running, turning the corner quickly and gripping the knife in readiness. 'Not giving himself time to think' was becoming a pattern Blue realized, as the guard came into view and the prisoner dashed forward to dig his knife into the only spot open to attack: their neck.

Black blood spurted from the wound, and the guard let out a gurgle of agony before falling over. Blue hiccuped in disbelief and panic, quickly tugging the knife out of the flesh and stepping back, eyes widening at the blood collecting around the now-still body. Everything about this was so familiar to Blue, and that fact just made him even more sickened.

Who _was_ he before he lost his memories?

Forcing down the bile that wanted to be free in his throat, Blue turned and ran into the next hall, relief covering him when he saw another rusty door that was separated from the others. Taking a step proved to be a mistake however, as the adrenaline in his body simmered down to reveal a horrible, terrible burning sensation in Blue's leg. Letting out a sob, he fell over and quaked as he saw the damage the guard's weapon did to his limb. Where the "bullet" (whatever the fuck it was) hit was obvious, as it created basically a crater in Blue's leg; part of the bone was showing, surrounded by charred black flesh that was oozing blood agonizingly. The places that the bullet didn't effect that badly still were turning a _very_ angry red, and Blue finally had to turn and puke out whatever the hell the guards fed him an hour ago.

Shaking and sobbing in agony, Blue curled up on the floor, his hands covering his face as he squeezing his eyes shut. What the **_actual fuck_** was happening- Blue had no idea. He couldn't remember a time where he felt calm; he just had endless _pain, suffering, panic, and **more** pain_. So much fucking pain. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand it and he just wanted to fucking _die_ and _let it all go away_ -

"H-Hey, anyone out there?" The door next to him was talking, and Blue's thoughts stilled for a moment as he struggled to sit up.

"Y-Yes," Blue choked out, and he jumped when he heard a loud thump come from the door.

"Holy shit, Lance?! You're still alive dude?!" Confusion hit Blue when he heard this, and a painfully-relieved laugh come from the door. "Holy shit! Lance, get me out of here dude! Let me see you!"

"Um, I'll let you out, but-" Blue hissed in pain as he forced himself to stand, using the wall as support as he jammed the knife into the lock and breaking it. Opening the door he saw another man in raggedy clothes, and the two just stared at each other in surprise.

"Holy fuck Lance, you look like fuckin' **_shit_**. Like, worse than that." The man nervously chuckled, and Blue frowned and shook his head.

  
"I'm not Lance, I'm Blue." Blue responded, and the man looked incredibly confused for a moment before his eyes widened in realization.

"You have absolutely no memories, do you?"

At that moment, if felt like everything had crashed into Blue for a second time, and he let out a sob as he fell against the door frame. The man yelped and quickly supported Blue, hushing him softly as Blue began babbling incoherently in terror and agony. He rubbed Blue's back gently as he choked and hiccuped, biting his hand to keep in his screams but failing quite a bit. He managed to explain a little bit to the man about his situation, what he remembered, and the torturing, but truly to Blue it just felt like he was spitting out nonsense in his confusion and panic. He could hear the man asking questions however, so he tried his best to answer them as a way to piece together his own story.

The two layer there for what seemed like hours, the man questioning Blue on what he knew and the wounded prisoner sputtering out responses more as he calmed down. After recovering from the full-blown panic attack, Blue could think clearly again, his fuddled brain finally creating questions on his own.

"Wh-What's you name?"

"Ah," The man laughed sadly, still gently rubbing Blue's back as if it was his own coping measure. "My name's Matt. You told me before you were taken away that you knew my sister. I think you called her Pidge?"

"Pidge," Blue murmured, the name hitting him like a ton of bricks. That was another name crossed off his wall, he supposed. "My name... Is Lance?"

"Well, yeah." Matt mumbled, scratching his chin nervously. "You were-er, are the blue Paladin. Maybe that's why you thought your name was Blue. You said something about a wall?"

"Yes," Blue whispered, curling up close to the body warmth of another person, careful to nurse his leg wound as much as possible. "It's the first thing I saw. A wall with names on it and words saying that I was blue, and to not forget them." Matt nodded as if in understanding, a sad look on his eyes as he seemed to be deep in thought.

"You could have wrote that as a last ditch effort to not forget everything. You told me before that they were going to do some crazy shit to you as an experiment to see how strong a Paladin's will was; guess whatever they did made you go bat-shit crazy."

Blue stiffened and started shaking again as realization started seeping into his bones. "They drenched me in water and shocked me until the only thing I could of was death." Matt snapped out of his stupor to stare at Blue in horror, his mouth gaped as he struggled for words.

"H-Holy- Are you serious?!" Blue nodded in confusion, and Matt started to shake himself as a look of pure hatred crossed his eyes. He shook his head, grumbling something to himself before looking at Blue again, a look of anger and fear mixing throughout his face.

"The blue Paladin is the guardian of water and life force, Lance. The damned Galra took your strength and choked you with it."

"Oh." Blue shivered in terror at the statement, albeit relieved that he wasn't some murderer that was placed here as a prison. "Who are... the Paladins then?"

Matt's intense look softened a the question, and he wrapped a comforting arm around Blue, careful not to hurt him. "The Paladins are the universe's saviors. They represent the light in the darkest storm; hope for the weak and weary and determination for the ones who thought they had none. It's the Paladins that the Resistance fight for, as we know only they can save everyone."

"The Resistance?"

"Basically the army against the Galra Empire." Matt explained. I was so excited to meet a Paladin, even in our bad conditions. I can't believe that my little sister is the green Paladin!" Blue smiled softly at Matt's excitement, letting out a small chuckle before wincing at his leg pain. Matt frowned before sighing, standing up and holding out a hand for Blue to grab. "Come on, you saw those lights and heard the alarms, right? The Galra should be trying to find the intruders like bees to honey. We gotta go and free everyone."

"The Paladins are coming." Blue said, taking Matt's hand and grunting as he stood up, trying not to put out much weight on his wounded leg. Matt's smile came back, and he let out a small hoot before picking Blue up, causing the wounded prisoner to yelp in shock.

"Well, we shouldn't keep them waiting, should we? Let's get out of here! With everyone!" Blue nodded shakingly as Matt started down the hallway, easily avoiding the panic-stricken guards that seemed to not be able to d their jobs while under stress.

"We'll get you free in no time, Lance" Matt promised, and Blue couldn't help but believe him.

\----------------------------------

"Jesus Christ," Shiro cursed, frozen in place as he shined his flashlight into the cell. There was no doubt in his mind that this was Lance's prison, and he hated it.

"Shiro," Keith choked in terror, gripping his leader's shoulder mostly for support. Sighing, the black paladin stepped closer to the wall that contained the blue paladin's panicked handwriting. So much emotion was conveyed in Lance's words, the way he hastily scratched his friends-no, family's names into the wall; he was trying to get them all down before something happened. Shiro felt bile bubble in his throat as he thought back to the Galra's words.

"Shiro," Keith repeated, and the leader looked at the red paladin in questioning. Lifting his shaky hand, Keith pointed at the ground, his flashlight showing more scratch marks and white hair scattered around the area, and a pool of dried blood with a rusted knife huddled in a corner. Shiro resisted a yell of shock that striked through his heart, bending down to grasp a clump of white hair and examine it.

"A human's full head of hair can turn white under great amounts of stress and panic." Pidge voiced behind them; they were shaking badly, and looked like they were trying to keep themselves from crying. "Shiro, Lance is here and needs our help now."

"I know," Shiro said with a strained voice, clutching the white strands tightly as he stood up. "We got this far; and if Lance isn't here that means he could be in more trouble than we can imagine."

"Where could he be, though?" Hunk asked from the door frame, his face scrunched in great worry for his best friend.

"There could be a torture chamber near here," Keith inquired with a a sharp intake of breath. "Haggard could be there too. We need a plan." Shiro nodded in agreement, stepping out of Lance's cell to look around. He frowned as the red light didn't provide much area to see, but what he could take is that it was either 'go back the way they came' or 'go deeper into Galra hell in hope that Lance is there'.

"We don't have much choice," Shiro sighed, shaking his head to look back at his team. All of them were anxious to find Lance and get out of here as soon as possible, but they still needed a plan of extraction. They had no idea what Lance looked like now, or if he'd even be willing to go with them if the blue paladin truly lost all of his memories. Shaking his head in frustration, Shiro pointed to the hallway that they hadn't been to yet.

"We go here and hope to god Lance is there." Shiro said, feeling dumb at such a blunt order, but the other paladins nodded with excitement and followed their leader loyally down the hall.

They were going to save Lance or die trying.

\----------------------------------

"Do you even know where we're going?!" Blue-well, Lance nearly screamed, holding closer to Matt as he jogged down the winding paths of the Galra ship. The man laughed, shaking his head as he suddenly stopped and put down Lance onto the ground.

"Alright, I'm going to get into the control panel that opens all the cell doors. You stay here and keep guard, okay? Yell if you see anyone pass, especially if it's a Galra." Matt said, Lance huffing in disbelief but nodding and laying back on the wall. Giving the blue paladin one last smirk, Matt disappeared into one of the doors, leaving Lance completely alone.

  
Sighing, Lance awoke from his doze at the sound of fast footsteps. Fear made Lance stand up, and for a moment a small part of him hoped it was the Paladins coming to save everyone. Lance groaned in both the great pain in his leg and exasperation when a group of Galra soldiers appeared, scowling and pointing their guns at the blue paladin.

"Uh, Matt?! Th-They've found us!" Lance shouted, falling backwards as the Galra started shooting at him.

"Hold them back for just two more minutes! I'm almost done!" Matt hollered back, and Lance nearly sputtered in shock and disbelief.

"How in the fuck do you think-" Lance yelped as he dodged another blast, his leg no doubt beginning to bleed again as it was burning in agony. "Matt, I'm wounded, outnumbered, and outgunned!"

"Just wait!"

Lance swallowed his frustration and pain and gripped his knife, doing his best to charge at the Galra as a last ditch effort. Biting his lip in agony, he launched himself at the nearest Galra, stabbing his knife into the soldier's neck. Black blood splattered onto Lance's face, and almost on instinct he grabbed the gun from the now dead Galra's hands and started shooting at the others. The group shouted in fear and pain as they were hit with the blasts from Lance's gun. As soon as they came, the group fell down to the ground, and Lance would have felt a sense of victory if the fallen soldiers did reveal another group.

They weren't Galra, and looked just as shocked as Lance to see him shoot down an entire squad of guards. Yet Lance still took the paranoid route and aimed his gun at them, making what seemed to be the leader of the group raise their hands.

"Relax, we aren't going to hurt you." The soldier in white and black armor told Lance, and he took off his helmet to reveal quite a familiar face of a man with a head of black hair white white bangs. Lance suddenly felt an urge to cry and run to him, yet stayed his ground and keep pointing his gun at the group. The leader frowned and took a small step forward, in which Lance allowed to movement. "You're a prisoner here, right? We're looking for our friend, maybe you know him-?"

"Lance?" One of the leader's soldiers in red and white armor suddenly asked, taking much more than one step closer to Lance, the prisoner choking in fear and stepping back and focusing his aim at the soldier. "Lance, it's me! Keith!" The soldier took off his helmet also, and Lance was once again hit with sweet familiarity, as well as a warmth that he could not tie to any emotion he knew.

"My name is Lance," He shakily responded, stepping another foot back, yet stumbling a bit when a flash of agony spread throughout his leg. "I'm sorry, I don't know any of you."

"Lance?" The smallest soldier, garbed in green in white, seemed choked, stepping forward themselves and tried reaching out to Lance. "Lance, its us! Please, you have to remember!"

"I'm sorry," Lance whispered, finally lowering his gun as tears filled his vision. "I'm sorry, I can't. I don't know any of you." Without the weapon pointing at them, the group rushed at the prisoner, Lance not able to move as he was suddenly engulfed of sobbing bodies, arms wrapped around his neck and torso. Lance released his own tears as the soldier named Keith cupped his face and looked into his eyes, before frowning and snuggling his face into Lance's neck as he released a sob.

"I'm so sorry," Lance murmured again, the leader letting him go to shake his head.

"It's not your fault," The soldier replied, "We'll get through this, I promise."

Lance believed him.

\-----------------------------

Lance opened his eyes shakily, noticing that he curled into a ball in his sleep again. Allowing himself to stretch out on his bed, he flinched as his leg tingled with a ghostly pain. Even with his leg healed as much as medically possible, Lance doubted that it would ever be completely okay. Along with his own brain, nothing would ever be okay with Lance again, he presumed.

It took so, so long, but eventually Lance was able to gain a little bit of his memories through harsh treatment from Coran and Allura. What scared Lance the most was the fact that he still could not remember anything from Earth; nothing about his birth family or his earth friends or earth memories. It had been completely wiped clean from his brain. It hurt, but Coran said that it was perhaps for the best. After all, Lance was able to recover most of his memories of the Voltron team, and that's all what really mattered. There were still moments where Lance would forget a name or two, but his family would easily forgive.

The only thing that Lance clearly remembers is when he was being tortured. He still cannot go into the shower without a flash of ghost electricity racing up his spine. There are still times where he can't breathe and can't remember where or who he is. He still goes into spasms and agonizing panic attacks that threaten to break him again and again, his brain believing that the threat is still there, even when he's surrounded by his family. The nightmares that encase him paralyze every fiber of Lance's being, crushing his lungs and locking his limbs to the point where it's painful to even try to move. 

And yet, every ragged breath he takes, there is someone with him, soothing his fears away and freeing his tormented mind. Slowly but surely Lance regained control of his brain; began to relax again and know where and when he is safe. He remembered what it felt like to be truly loved, as Keith made sure to tell him everyday how much he cared for him. Pidge made sure to be hyper-aware of how Lance was feeling, and had gotten very good at telling when a panic-attack was forthcoming. Hunk made sure to cook Lance's favorite foods whenever the blue paladin felt low, and Shiro himself made it his job to tell Lance about Earth everyday with great detail.

Slowly but surely, Lance's brown hair came back, yet for some reason he always kept it long in the front. Perhaps it was his own paranoia that cutting it would cause pain still, or maybe he grew to enjoy the look, but every time the blue paladin looked into the mirror and saw the colorful hair set in his prisoner's hair style, he felt like he what won something. The Galra had tried taking his soul and break it to the point where it was someone completely different, yet here he was; not Blue, but Lance. He was still the blue paladin, guardian of the rain that he loved so dearly. Nothing could take that away from him.

Breathing deeply, Lance got up and exited his room, shivering at a passing memory of being dragged into that horrific room with Haggard. But he was not being forced to move, he was moving by himself. The familiar warmth and laughter guided Lance into the Castle's kitchen where Shiro and Allura were happily working together too make breakfast. Keith sat at the table drinking a hot beverage, and when he saw Lance his fiery eyes brightened happily and motioned the blue paladin over. Feeling the happy warm feeling of love bubble in his chest, Lance went over and sat next to the red paladin, who grabbed his hand with his own in comfort. Lance rested his head on Keith's shoulder, eyes closing in content as he heard Allura's excited voice over Shiro's own cheerful one, the two lightly arguing over how the alien's equivalent to oatmeal should be prepared.

Lance hummed softly as he felt soft lips press against his forehead, Keith's warm hand wrapped around his own as the red paladin thumbed his wrist. Lance felt so at peace; he was happy that he had pulled through the pain and agony of being captured. There was still confusion to how and when Lance was actually taken, as no amount of therapy could get the blue paladin to remember, but thanks to Matt, they knew that Lance had been in the Galra's hand for at least a year and a half. When the other Paladins had heard of this, they nearly broke down; they were furious at themselves for allowing Lance to go through that much torment without even knowing that he was gone. Though to Lance it actually didn't feel like it was that long; he supposed loosing his memory for most of his torture helped the time go by faster.

Lance drifted out of his stupor when he felt Keith squeeze his hand, the blue paladin's eyes opening to meet the red paladin's lovely own that sparkled with joy.

"I love you," Keith hummed softly, a blush quickly covering his face as he looked away in embarrassment. Lance chuckled sleepily before cuddling closer to the red paladin, sighing in content.

"I love you, too." The blue paladin responded dreamily, and Keith could help but let out a small giggle. He couldn't be happier, to be honest: Lance was in his arms again, and that's all he really needed at the moment.

Lance was finally and truly home.


	8. Heal (Mob!Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance can breathe for the first time in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus lol.

Lance came into consciousness feeling much more warm than he felt at a day-to-day basis. In fact, he apparently fell asleep sitting up in his bed, and his bed rest was unusually not concrete or whatever hard metal is used on Altean bed rests. Also also, since when did his blankets weigh a lot more on his shoulders than the rest of his body?

The blue paladin's eyes shot open when a soft noise was heard, and despite his attempt to move, the weight on his sides only increased. Confusion bubbled in his chest as he turned his head, and the feeling turned into full blown panic as  _holy fuck Keith's face was not even an inch from his._

In fact, when Lance recovered from the shock he realized that Pidge was curled up next to him on his other side, hugging his arm tightly as she grumbled in her sleep. Hunk was next to Keith, his hand touching the back of Lance's head; and Shiro was fast asleep next to Pidge, his own arm able to be around both the green paladin and the blue paladin due to its length. Soon after Lance noticed with relief that they weren't in his room, but on a couch instead, somehow big enough to contain five people on it and still sleep comfortably. 

Lance relaxed, feeling happiness creep into his body and make him feel weightless. Doubts and fears tugged in the back of his head, though for once they seemed small compared to the peacefulness that surrounded his team. Memories of cuddling with his siblings managed to sneak into his waking world, and Lance closed his eyes and almost felt at home again; the scent of his mother's cooking wafted in the room and her soft humming reached his ears. 

Lance was suddenly snapped from his daydream as he felt a shift from his left and a warm hand pressed against his cheek, chasing away the tears that collected on the blue paladin's skin without him noticing. Lance opened his eyes to meet Keith's own, and he felt a blush of embarrassment rise to his face at the concerned look in the violet orbs. 

"I was just thinking," Lance whispered, answering the red paladin's silent question. Keith gave a small hum, his thumb lightly stroking the blue paladin's cheekbone; the unusually soft gesture made Lance blush even deeper. 

Before Keith could say anything, a loud groan from Lance's right made the two boys turn their heads toward Pidge, who sleepily opened their eyes. The blue paladin's heart melted at the look Pidge gave him; eyes half-lidded and mouth curved slightly upward in a comforting grin.

"How'd you sleep?" Pidge murmured, resting a hand on Lances shoulder, seemingly ignoring Keith's own hand. Lance chuckled, rubbing his eyes and reaching over to ruffle the green paladin's hair.

"I slept well. Better than usual." Keith snorted at that, and the blue paladin flashed him a playful frown. The three laid together in their own thoughts for a bit, and soon were joined by Shiro and Hunk, the yellow paladin letting out his own moan of discomfort.

"I don't wanna be awake." Hunk complained, and Pidge nodded their head.

"Yesterday sucked," The green paladin yawned, "Let's never do that again." The paladins excluding Shiro nodded their agreement, while the leader laughed lightly at his teammates trying to huddle closer to one another. 

"As much as it was uncomfortable, Coran was right when he said that it would bring us closer." Shiro said softly, and sighed when Lance pulled a face. "You too, Lance."

"I know," The blue paladin grumbled, resting his head on Keith's shoulder as he suppressed a loud yawn. "I just wished you guys found out on my own terms."

"Which would have been never," Keith grumbled, and squawked when in return the blue paladin pinched his side. "What?! You know I'm right!" Lance stuck his tongue out at the red paladin, and the rest of paladin's groaned at the two's continued antics.

"Stop being so gay with each other," Pidge snapped, hugging Lance's side before the boy could sputter an excuse. "Let me have my time with the badass mafia boss."

"Pidge!" Lance whined, secretly enjoying the contact, but like hell would he admit it. "I'm not even in the mob anymore!"

"Can you ever really leave though?" Hunk fearfully said, asking the question that the team had for hours now. Lance looked away, shrugging his shoulders as he played with Pidge's hair. 

"I don't know, really. Anton is the leader of the place now, but I'm still the owner of most of the businesses in my city. The boys made it clear that they still follow the McClain family too. Next time I go home I'll probably never leave again."

The silence that followed Lance's words unnerved the boy, but he couldn't get himself to look at his teammates. He didn't want to see the emotions in their faces, the shock; or disgust perhaps. He bit his lip to keep in a whimper. He'd have to go back to being isolated and feared; no one to comfort him during his panic attacks and no one to care when he broke down. He'd be truly alone in his thoughts and the ghosts of the past clinging to him like chains. 

"I don't want to go back." Lance finally whispered.

"You don't have to." A new voice joined the room, and the blue paladin looked up in surprise to see Allura smiling sweetly at him. "Coran and I are going to travel around the universe after the war to try to find possible Altean colonies. We talked about it after you all fell asleep; we want you to come with us, Lance. Your mental state wouldn't do you any good on earth. We can get you the help you need." Allura's confident stature fell a bit, and she broke eye contact in favor of looking at the floor. "Only if you want to, however."

Lance opened and closed his mouth multiple times, having a total loss of words. Allura was the least expected person to offer Lance an escape, and yet here she was. He felt a new flash of guilt for all those times he hit on her for just the sake of forgetting his lost love. Maybe this could be a new start of their relationship?

"Lance?" Keith's voice broke Lance out of his thoughts, the blue paladin flinching when he realized everyone was hanging onto his silence. The boy looked into the princesses eyes, and saw the hidden hope inside and knew that she too wanted to start over. 

"I'd like that. A lot, actually." Lance said, and the room gave out a collective sigh of relief; warmth returning to everyone and laughter bubbled into the room. 

"It feels nice to talk about the future." Shiro hummed, relaxing on the couch as Pidge happily stretched over Lance's lap.

"Hell yeah! We got a lead on Matt; Imma find him and we're totally going to make this place awesome." The green paladin grinned widely, booping Lance's nose. "Even more awesome than it is now."

"I don't know what I'll do without Voltron, after the war," Hunk blushed, looking away, "I was thinking about helping Shay out though. I don't want to go back to earth either. What about you, Shiro?"

The black paladin shrugged, tapping his chin in thought. "I'll probably stay with the Holts. Matt's my best friend, after all. I don't have anywhere else to be, so I'll go with them."

Keith hesitated as the team looked at him expectantly. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to make a decision. Lance felt his discomfort, and he battled with the urge to hug the red paladin. He probably didn't want to go anywhere close to earth after what happened to him. 

"I want to go with Lance and Allura." Keith suddenly blurted out, and the blue paladin felt heat touch the tips of his ears. He expected Keith want to go with Shiro, not with him. What did he do that was so special that Keith wanted to go with  _him_?

"We'd love for you to join," Allura nodded at Lance for confirmation, and Lance nearly choked as he tried to speak.

"Of course!" Lance said a bit too quickly. "Of course." He rested a hand on Keith's shoulder, feeling a smile fight to his lips. Keith returned the grin, looking relieved at their acceptance. 

"Well, seeing how we got all that sorted out," Shiro cleared his throat, "I recommend we start training. The war isn't won yet."

The paladins groaned but got up from the coach, and Lance flashed Keith a grin. It wasn't one of his fake smiles that he showed to make sure no one worried about. For the first time in years, Lance felt the corners of his lips turn by themselves. Happiness bubbled within him, giving him a push of energy toward the halls.

"Race you to the training room, mullet!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus ends this story! Thank you all so so much for loving this mini-series! I might write more for this universe, but I haven't made any plans for it just yet.
> 
> I'd love to write more about Lance's mafia life and his life after the war, but only if you guys want it! 
> 
> Until then, I'll be writing about other ideas and ships. I might take a break from Klance to write other Lance ships ahaha.
> 
> Thank you all for your love and patience!!!!


	9. You're Here Pt. 1 (Klangst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was it; Zarkon was going down.

"This is it, guys!" Shiro excitedly said, his grip on his Lion's control so tight his knuckles were turning white. "We all know the plan?!"

"Blow up shit, kill Zarkon, go home!" Pidge yelled over the coms, the voices of the other Paladins cheering in response.

"Be careful, Paladins." Allura's voice consoling, however everyone knew she was just as excited as they were. "Zarkon might have a few more tricks up his sleeve."

"We beat the shit out of Lotor, Haggar's down for the count, what else does he have!?" Lance's voice bubbled over in confidence, and he nearly jumped out of his seat as he blasted away another Galra ship. "This is it! We're gunna get home after this! Guys, can you believe it?! Five fucking years!"

"Mom's waiting for us, Pidge." Matt mused, and his sister didn't even try to contain her laughs as she batted away another drone with her Lion.

"I'll have real food to cook with again," Hunk sounded close to crying as he helped the Red Lion get closer to their designated location. "I can't wait to hang out with you guys on Earth again, and smell some roses! Oh! And  _cinnamon_! How could I forget cinnamon?!"

"Focus, guys," Keith entered the comms harshly, "We aren't done just yet. Zarkon will be most likely be armed to the teeth. We cannot lose the edge we have right now."

"Just admit you can't wait to go on  _real_  dates with Lance already." Pidge teased, and she laughed louder when a pained silence washed over their communications. "I fucking knew it!"

"Incoming!" Shirt shouted, and the lions scattered for a moment as they dodged the horde of energy missiles coming at them. They reunited easily, and the Paladins hooted and hollered when each of them boarded the Capital Galran ship. "This is it," Shiro repeated when they got out of their lions, summoning their bayards and nodding. "Be prepared for everything and anything."

"I'll keep an eye out for threats, don't worry." Lance said, and took the back as the Paladins prepared their attack position. Just as they were going to move, a dark and familiar laugh echoes in the intercoms.

"Paladins. How wonderful for you to visit me!" Zarkon bellowed, and Lance couldn't help but shudder at the smirk in his voice. "You finally decided to seal your fates."

"Hell yeah we're sealing our fates!" Pidge shouted, "We're here to kick your ass!"

"You speak with such confidence, green paladin." Zarkon chuckled darkly, and suddenly the room was filled with Galra soldiers as they rushed from once-locked doors. The Lions growled and put up their energy barriers, blocking any attacks aimed at them. "Too bad your end is here."

"Everyone! Defense position!" Shiro said, and his team quickly grouped closely, Keith and the black paladin taking the front as the other three Paladins fanned out from the back. Lance grinned as he shot down the Galra soldiers that still poured from the doors, as well as stopping any of them that tried to flank. Slowly but surely, the Paladins cleared the area, soldiers falling down like flies as the red and black Paladins cut them down. Hunk and Pidge were shooting as fast they could, as well as covering each other's backs as the Galra tried surrounding them.

Lance himself found a good moment to use one of Pidge's inventions, a sniper's grappling hook, to quickly get out of sticky situations that he couldn't take care of. Sure, it separated himself from the group, but being in a higher place enabled him to see the area better than his teammates. Swinging onto the higher level of the room, Lance easily shot down another three soldiers that were trying to go team up against Keith, the red paladin sending a grateful 'Thanks, Lance' over the comms before returning to the fray. The blue paladin smiled wide, a warm feeling flashing over his cheeks as he watched his boyfriend fight. Seriously, they've been dating for three years now, but Lance still hasn't gotten over the giddiness of having a partner. Even if it's with a grumpy boy like Keith. Lance couldn't wait to introduce him to his Mama.

Shaking his head, Lance focused on the mission again, biting his lip over some close calls and having to grapple hook his way to another location again while being shot at. Honestly he felt like a total badass, swinging around with barley getting a scratch, and he thanked himself for taking the time to train with Pidge's invention before going into battle with it.

"Hunk! To your right!" Lance said, shooting down yet another footman that was trying to join their comrade against the yellow paladin. Hunk quickly swung around and punched the remaining soldier away before delivering killing blow. His best friend took the time to give the sharpshooter a thumbs-up, in which Lance eagerly returned.

Lance glided down next to Keith as they took care of the last soldier. The blue paladin wanted to give his boyfriend a well-deserved kiss, but Shiro quickly signaled everyone to hull ass down the corridors. Rolling his eyes, Lance ran behind the red paladin, taking a moment to enjoy the view from behind. The entire ship was like an ant colony, so full of twists and turns that if it wasn't for Matt the team would have gotten lost. His voice echoed in Lance's ears as he blindly followed Keith through the halls, fully confident that Shiro would guide them towards the correct route.

_"My Paladin, I must talk to you urgently."_ Lance tripped at the sound of Blue's voice echoing in his ears, causing Pidge to yelp as she slammed into the man in front of her.

"Lance!" Shiro and Keith immediately stopped, and the red paladin steadied Lance as he wobbled a bit. "What happened?"

Lance groaned, trying to refuse Blue's immediate connection so he could talk to his team. "B-Blue wants to talk to me. She says it's urgent."

"Well hell Blue, dick move." Pidge snapped, and shook her head when Lance apologized. "Shiro, can we take a break for a bit?"

"Guess we'll have to," Shiro said, worriedly looking at Lance who was still trying to fight Blue from taking him from his consciousness. "If your lion needs to talk to you that badly, she isn't going to give up."

"Thanks Shiro," Lance managed out before closing his eyes and going limp, feeling Keith catch him before connecting to Blue.

"Beautiful, as much as I love talking to you, you probably shouldn't try to drag me into your domain when I'm running." Lance consoled, and felt Blue rumble in anxiety.

_"I'm sorry, my cub, but I have to speak to you. I will not have time to talk after you complete your final mission."_

"Well, you got me now, what do you need to-"

_"My paladin, do not fight them."_

"What are you talking about?"

_"My term is coming to an end. My sisters and I have been preparing for this day for many, many years. Even before Alfor had fallen. My sisters- they will teach you what you need to know. Please, I beg you my little cub, do not fight them."_

"Wait, what do you mean? Term? Blue-"

His lion suddenly cut the connection, causing Lance to jolt back into consciousness with a gasp. He felt Keith tighten his grip on his shoulder, basically cradling the blue paladin as he came to. Shiro looked at Lance in question, in which Lance responded with a groan as he rubbed his face.

"Well, what did she say?" Pidge piped up, and Lance, with the help of Keith, stood up.

"I honestly have no idea," Lance confessed, "She said something about her term running out, and that she and her sisters were preparing for something? Oh, and that I shouldn't fight 'them'. Then she just dumped me back here." Lance chuckled, holding Keith's hand for support. "Not really helpful, y'know?"

"The lions tend to be cryptic when they talk to us," Shiro mused, "Perhaps Allura will know what Blue means when we get back." The team nodded, they continued to walk down the hallways, taking down any guards that were blocking the doors. Lance swallowed the lump in his throat as they got deeper into the ship, feeling dread pool into his stomach. What did Blue mean? Why would she cut off connection that quickly? Lance didn't need more stress right now, especially when they were getting to the door that blocked them from Zarkon.

Shiro seemed to hesitate before turning around to his team, meeting all of their eyes. He smiled, before putting his hands on his hips.

"I feel honored to have you all as my team. We've been through so much these past five years, and now our main mission is finally coming to an end. However, remember that our story isn't finished after this. The universe still needs Voltron, and we will always have our hands full. But we will be together until the end our days, that I can promise."

"Allura is still giving us a long break after this, right?" Pidge interrupted, and Shiro laughed.

"She better. With Zarkon gone, we will be able to return to Earth safely. We will be able to visit any time we want, as long as we aren't on a mission."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Lance said, feeling more than eager to get this done and finished. He wanted to be home again. He wanted to see his Mama and siblings again. He wanted to wake up to see Keith next to him and not have to get up for training. God, did he want that. He wanted that so so bad.

Surely the bile in his throat was from nerves for the fight and not a sign.

Pidge bent down and hacked the console to the door easily, the Paladins exchanging looks of fear before they took a collective breath and marched to their fate. Lance gripped Keith's hand tightly as he felt weak from excitement and dread. This was it; they were going to do this.

It was time for him to complete his destiny. 

\----------------------------

It was a hard battle; as Keith had feared, Zarkon was well prepared for the Paladins even in their final battle. Lance lost all sense of time as he zipped and whipped around the royal throne room, Galran bodies littering the floor. 

Shiro was in a heated battle with Zarkon himself, his glowing hand batting away Zarkon's sword and causing sparks to fly. The rest of the Paladins were busy making sure that soldiers didn't interfere with Shiro, as well as trying to get a few hits on the Galran Emperor. The tide of the battle were making both sides weary, however they still fought on with vigor. 

Lance wiped away the sweat drenching his forehead as he hit another five consecutive shots at the soldiers rushing at his friends. He could hear his rasping breath as his lungs struggled to suck in oxygen, yet he did his best to ignore it as he jumped from his ledge again to fall down and kick away a Galra sneaking up on Keith. The red paladin barely flinched as they teamed up, Lance boxing away the surrounding soldiers as Keith supported him with his sword. The blue paladin could hear Pidge and Hunk's yells of confidence as all four paladins fought to group up, preparing a final push to get to Shiro. 

Finally, they managed to clear the room of footmen, meeting up with their leader that was still viciously dueling with Zarkon. With a collective battle cry, the four paladins started their own onslaught against the Galran, the Emperor grunting as Keith's blade ripped at his armor. Pidge's own bayard zapped against his knees as Hunk pelted at Zarkon's helmet to knock it off. Shiro managed to shove Zarkon when he aimed a killing blow at Keith, and the Galran was showing obvious fury and pain. The paladins were fighting for the their friends, family, home, and the universe.

Zarkon was going to lose.

But he had one more trick in his sleeve.

Lance saw it a few ticks before anyone else, Zarkon's glove beginning to glow like Shiro's arm. It seemed like it was charging for a powerful blast, directing right at his team. Lance reacted before he could utter a word, using his grappling hook to hook right at Zarkon's feet and lunging at the Emperor right when the Galran thrusted his bio weapon at Shiro. 

There was a bright purple light that blinded the room, and the only thing that could be heard was quintessence ripping through its target. The paladins had to cover their eyes in pain of the flash, the last thing they saw was Lance flying at Zarkon with a fearful look on his face. 

What they saw tore them apart. 

Zarkon was dead on the ground, a bullet lodged through his skull. His once spiteful sneer was now a look of pure shock as he stared aimlessly at the ceiling, glazed and sightless. Lance was a few feet away in a pool of his own blood, unmoving as the gaping hole in his chest oozed out his life force. His face looked more peaceful than Zarkon's, his once shining bright blue eyes dull and half-lidded, blood streaming out of his mouth and nose. He did not look in pain or shock, merely neutral, as if asleep, if it weren't for his sighless gaze. 

They didn't even get to say goodbye to him. 

Keith could only stare in horror at the corpse, barely able to hear the screaming of his friends and Shiro's frantic callsto Allura for help. He stumbled to his boyfriend, bending down and pressing a shaking hand to the bloodied cheek. Keith felt tears stream down his face as his sobs shook out of his throat, gripping Lance's face as he begged his love to come back and smile at him again. 

They won. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient with me! I have a rough few months but I think I'm finally back for a while!


	10. You're Here Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunt for the Blue Paladin begins

He definitely didn't remember falling asleep in a field.

The meadow was filled with soft blue grass, a haze of fog covered the land the led up to a lake that had frost kissed on its edges. He felt a pull to step into the water, small waves rippling off of his feet as cool water swallowed around his legs. Calm washed over his body, he sighed heavily as he allowed to water to push against his fur.

A smile dimpled his cheeks as he felt the coolness cover his body, never having felt this sense of security before; like he found the other half of his soul.

A small light in the middle of the lake caught his eye, the fog and water starting to weave around the ball to create a feline-like blue beast with a wavy silver mane. The beast stalked towards him, yet he felt no fear as he reached out to brush his fingers through the beast's fur. The feline purred, the noise tremoring through him and causing him to gasp softly. The beast's ocean blue eyes pierced through him, before pressing its forehead onto his hand, pleased when he continued stroking its head.

 _"My Paladin."_  The beast's voice made the world around them shake, yet he stayed strong as he felt the beast's power flow through him.  _"Blue Paladin. My Paladin. I choose you."_

He closed his eyes as he felt the words soak into his heart, the beast's striking gaze not leaving him as roars from other beasts boomed into the world. Roars of excitement, joy, and acceptance. He felt the water climbing up his arms and legs, grasping his face as the world faded.

Yet the feeling of the blue beast's watch stayed with him even as he woke up.

\----------------------------------------

It's been five years.

Five years of pain, tears, and fighting to heal his broken heart. Five years of waking up to an empty and cold bed. Loveless. Keith's world was black and white with bland greys soaking away any color. Even when he started waking up able to get out of bed, the emptiness in his heart ached for the only one who could ever fill it.

Keith heaved a choking sigh as he opened his eyes and turned his head to the space beside him. Even after five years he still couldn't get himself to move to a smaller bed. He didn't think he could ever be ready to downsize after what happened. Some part of him still clung to the past, still waiting for Lance to come through the door and curl up into Keith's side. Red tried tirelessly to help him, using her inner flame to warm his heart, yet even a lion could barely make an indent on the wound that Zarkon slashed into him. Even with the tyrant dead the universe was still feeling the effects of his terrible rein.

Keith groaned loudly and made himself sit up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Ever since Lance died he hasn't been able to get a good night's rest. In fact, he usually would have lucid dreams of seeing Lance; being able to touch him and see his beaming smile and tears rolling down his soft cheeks before Keith would wake up sweating and heaving sobs from his body. God, Keith missed him. He missed him so much.

But Keith knew that he wasn't the only one still torn up about Lance's death. Hunk barely talks to anyone, and Pidge was more or less nonexistent if they weren't on a mission. Being Lance's two best friends, Keith had bonded with them over the years with his boyfriend. Hunk sometimes gives Keith small snacks that he managed to cook, and Pidge allows Keith to silently watch her while she typed restlessly into her computer.

Shiro had done his best to keep the team together, however even he was broken up about Lance's death. He couldn't stop blaming himself that the Blue Paladin died because of him, that maybe if he reacted fast enough, maybe if he was a better leader, Lance would have survived. Coran, after losing another son, had coped by working 24/7, barely ever allowing himself breaks. 

Even Allura still seemed distraught. Despite their bickering and differences, Lance had been like a brother to Allura after she admitted to him that she wasn't interested in men. He completely changed his attitude, happily dressing her up every meeting so she would attract every lady's attention. She was even able to pick up a few dates with his help, yet now she barely had enough time for such trivial things.

No, her main concern, next to her brother dying, was the Blue Lion has been unresponsive for the past five years.

No one had expected Blue to immediately choose a new Paladin, but now times were getting rough again, with rogue alliances and Zarkon admirers started popping up in the universe and causing distress. Voltron was once again needed, but they couldn't form without the Blue Lion. Allura tried everything; begging to the other Lions to talk to their sister, trying to communicate with Blue herself, yet nothing seemed to work.

Sometimes, in her dreams, she would find herself knee-deep in cool water with the sound of roaring tremoring in her ears. However she had memorized every Lion's different voice and speech pattern, and the roaring she heard was nothing like theirs. She would wake up in a cold sweat, shivering violently as if she had just been in a winter storm with barely anything on.

Allura would always run to Blue after these dreams, place her hand on the Lion's paw, and beg for Blue to talk to her. Every time, nothing would happen, and Coran would loyally carry her back to her room, murmuring comfort as she cried into his chest.

Allura felt abandoned by the Ancients; nothing was willing to give her the answers that she so desperately needed. Blue was unresponsive, and her sisters were not responding when Allura or the Paladins begged for advice. They were lost to tide of uncertainty as the universe they fought so desperately to save was needing their help once again. 

 

Until finally, Allura had a dream. In fact, all of Voltron had a dream.

Allura opened her eyes to see them all standing in a wavy field of blue grass, their bare feet touching the edge of frost-tinted waters as a pride of multi-colored lions sat on pillars near the middle of the lake. Every Paladin could feel a pull from one of the lionesses, yet they could not make a move towards them as the biggest lioness, black as night with a pure white chest and muzzle, lifted her head and let out a roar that shook the world around them. The other lionesses joined her, letting out their excitement as they shook their heads and swished their long tails.

_"Blue Paladin. Covered in frost in the darkest of worlds. Find him. Find the Paladin."_

Then, Allura heard the odd roaring again from her other dreams, and looking at her paladins' shocked faces, she could tell that they could hear it too.

_"Find my Paladin. Bring him here safe to me."_

It didn't sound like Blue at all. 

Like always, Allura woke up with sweat soaking her night-gown and sheets. Gasping for breath, the voice boomed in her head like a mantra. The words on her tongue like she said them herself. The voice like the calmest of streams, yet still stinging like frostbite. It had a familiar accent to it, yet the Princess could spend no time lulling over that fact as she got up to take a much-needed shower. This was the first dream she received from the Lions, and this time she knew it was real. They gave them all a vision of the new Paladin, and even if it wasn't one of the current Voltron members, Allura couldn't help but feel ecstatic. Finally,  _finally,_ they had a lead.

Voltron would be whole again.

—————————————

It took two weeks before Keith had suddenly busted into the living room one day, panic and excitement mixing on his face. Shiro opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, when Keith interrupted him immediately.

"Galran. The Blue Paladin is Galran."

"How- How do you know?" Allura choked out, surprise making her mind short-circuit.

"'Darkest of worlds'? Seem familiar?" Keith huffed out, showing more emotion in five minutes than he had in the past five years.

"Of course," Pidge muttered, the glare of the light blocking her glasses from showing her eyes. "I can't believe we didn't realize sooner."

"We'll get on the route to Temno immediately." Shiro instructed, referring to the new homeworld of the Galran people after the fall of the Galran Empire left many homeless. Most Galrans merely molded with the planets' native species that they lived on, but others had decided to inhabit a large unpopulated planet far from most sentient life. The Galrans named their new home quite literally "Dark" in their language, as the planet's only source of light is a dwarf star. How they managed to live in such conditions is unimaginable by most races, but they were thriving. The world apparently had a breathable atmosphere and water, the aliens that communicate with the isolated species explaining the world was an equivalent to a marsh or swamp. Always covered in darkness with only a few precious hours of dim light, the world was easy to tame next to some non-sentient life forms that were nothing but aggressive; luckily they were powerless against new age technology.

Shiro had commuted to a Galran satellite radio station that they had urgent business with them, and with some hesitation on the other end (how could they not, the Galrans just wanted to be alone at this point), they readily agreed to talk. 

Keith was absorbed in his own thoughts as they worm-holed to the Galran homeplanet; dread bubbling in his stomach. He knew he should be excited to meet the new Paladin that shared similar blood with him, yet some part of him was furious at the thought of someone replacing Lance. No one would ever replace his lost love, and he almost wanted Blue to agree with him. Yet he understood that he couldn't grieve forever; Lance would want him to move on. Lance would want everyone to live their best lives; that's why he sacrificed himself in the first place, right?

But Keith just couldn't.

Not without Lance.

The red Paladin felt Red rumble softly in his mind, warmth spreading over him as she tried to banish his dark thoughts. _Things will get better._ She hummed, and Keith sighed and tried to believe her. Lance would want him to be happy, after all. It was just hard. Nearly impossible. Maybe he'd never feel complete again.

"We're here." Shiro notified everyone, snapping Keith out of his thoughts and making him put on his helmet to initiate the night vision Pidge had implemented a few years back. The Paladins stepped out of the Castle to meet up with the current leader of the Galrans, a soft-spoken, new generation Galran named Teplo who seemed nervous yet excited to meet Voltron. She looked like the exact opposite of Zarkon, probably chosen for that exact fact. The leader was still tall and muscled like most Galran women, yet her fur fluffed up in the most non-threatening way that Keith had ever seen. She definitely was indeed a new generation Galran, who all seemed much weaker and much more  _furry_  than any of the other generations of their species. Not that anyone was complaining, including the Galrans. New Gens were also much more charismatic than their predecessors, and found genuine interest in communicating with other species despite their isolation. The new generation was tightly under wraps by Zarkon, but now that he was gone and they were older, they quickly took control of their government with good intentions.

" _Privet_ ," Teplo greeted Allura as the Princess lead the Paladins into the dark world, the Galran soldiers around them merely guarding Teplo and looking neutral as the two leaders communicated quietly. Keith swallowed the lump in his throat as slowly more Galra came into view, their ears twitching with excitement and curiosity as they watched the Paladins like hawks. Keith couldn't help but smile at the pups that tugged on their parents' hands, yelping and whimpering in their native language, no doubt wanting to get a closer look at the newcomers. Keith felt his heart break all over again at the thought of having pups of his own.

No, not without Lance. Only with Lance would he ever consider it.

"That's very wonderful to hear, my Princess" Teplo's coos broke Keith's sad thoughts, the half-human directing his attention back to the Galran leader who looked ready to jump out of her fur. "Are you sure the Lions would choose one of us again, after..?"

"Of course," Allura assured, warmth in her voice as she settled a hand on Teplo's shoulder. "The Lions do not discriminate species or race. They choose by personality."

"It just seems so odd that the Blue Lion would choose a Galran so soon after the War." Teplo bit her lip in anxiety "Not that I'm complaining, my Princess! I'm just..."

Allura hummed softly. "I have to agree, Empress Teplo. Yet none of us have a say on who the Paladins will be." The Princess let out a sad chuckle. "If we did, we would have chosen one much sooner."

"Right. Well, I hope we will be the most hospitable while you search for the Blue Paladin. Take as much time as you need; you are most welcome here as the saviors of our generation." Teplo smiled widely, her small fangs peeking from the corners of her lips and making her look like an overexcited puppy despite her being a good foot and a half taller than Shiro. Allura nodded simply, signaling her paladins to start settling into their temporary stay. Keith sighed in exhaustion, already ready for the day to end. He just wanted to go back to bed at this point. Even if meant that he'd have to face the fake Lance again.

God, did he want him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new addition of Mafia Lance will be next! Thanks for all the support!


	11. Will Bending (Dead By Daylight AU-Klance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance didn't die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the next chapter would be a Mob!Lance addition but I lied sorry

The Husk; a name given to him by his god. The name he had to grow to love and cherish throughout his timeless years in the void. He tried counting the days since he was first 'converted', but he soon lost track as his work all but consumed him. And when he wasn't working, he was out on the black sand, watching the storm waves bite as his bare and stained feet.

He stopped wearing shoes a few months in. He couldn't place it, but something about not being connected to the ground fully made him uncomfortable, and feeling things weren't his style anymore. The only feeling he ever allowed was his bloodlust, as that is what his god blessed him with to feel above everything else. Something to attach to when memories got the best of him and he wanted to break down into old habits. Feeling nothing was why his god teasingly gave him his name; as the deity said 'Once you felt nothing, you could feel everything; the blood, the screams, and the love that I give you'.

Yes, those were three things that he only needed to feel. He less he felt, the more he loved; and that love was the only thing he needed to stay alive. Nothing more, nothing less. So when the time came to face his memories, he was ready to end them once in for all. It was no longer personal to him, he only wanted to please his god and the yearning to taste blood on his tongue.

He could still remember his first kill- his father. The bastard who whored his mother and beat his siblings. He was the youngest of their family and was considered the runt, thus meant he was the easiest to make scream. He constantly felt agony and fear, even at school where no one knew of his pain. He remembered having friends who he cared about dearly, but he hasn't seen their faces in so long that he couldn't possibly muster any affection now. Perhaps if he saw a specific one he could feel something akin to loyalty, however how they would feel the same is non-negotiable. He was completely consumed by his god, and he would not trade it for the world.

Or dimension, pry tell.

His special place in the god's void was perfect to him, even if it wasn't exactly as he imagined. No matter his creativity, the deity could only do so much, and while a sunny aspect to the dimension was invited, the spirits of the damned made it impossible.

But in any case he was more then glad for what was given to him. His own island of serenity where he could relax and forget. He felt safe and secure here; which was more then he could ever say in his mortal life. The sacrifice was well worth the effort, and it helped that his god made it easy for him to sacrifice.

But that was not the end of it, for a few familiar faces full of curiosity and dangerous purpose is what put a dreadful stop to his peace. He supposed that they meant more then well; he was almost grateful that he disappearance meant so much to them all. But the forceful entering to his home was not at all welcomed, in fact a feeling of rage is what tried to corrupt his mind when he felt their auras. When he crashed into their path he could've laughed at the horror in their faces as they screamed and broke apart like a pack of mice being found by a feral cat. Their blood pulsing in their veins is what really energized him, and he hungered to taste the precious life force. Bloodlust and love was the only thing that he needed, and for anything else he just a Husk.

————————

"He's going to kill us. Oh my god, we're going to fucking  _die_." Pidge's uncontrolled whimpers shook Keith to the core as he relentlessly pulled at the generator, begging to crank something the right way to get the damned thing to turn on. Fuck that fortune-teller motherfucker; he knew exactly what he was doing when he told them he knew Lance's fate. He fucking  _knew_  this was going to happen and  _he fucking led them._ If it wasn't for the bloodied notes past victims left them at the door they wouldn't have even known that there was a chance for an escape. Keith would've immediately assumed that Lance was one of the unlucky ones too; he could've easily,  _finally,_ accepted that Lance had died and be able to lead his friends to safety; he could've even felt like he avenged Lance for surviving 'the Husk' and making sure that no one else made the same mistake. If only that was the case. If only he didn't immediately recognize the bright blue eyes that zeroed-in savagely on them as they barely made two steps into this fucked up dimension before they realized how fucking screwed they were. Before the realized where Lance had really been all this time.

Ten years since Keith last saw his boyfriend. Ten years since he's heard his laugh and smile and the way his eyes glittered when he told a terrible joke. Ten years since he left to Cuba to finally face his trauma and disgusting monster of a father only to go missing and the only thing left was a bloodied mess. Police assumed that Lance had done the deed and then killed himself, unable to face the horror he committed. But Keith knew better.  _Everyone_  knew better. Lance loved life, he loved his friends, he loved  _Keith_ ; there was no way he would've willingly done anything that occurred that day.

Right?

"Shit shit  _shit!_ Keith! I hear him!" Pidge scream-whispered, as if trying to avoid the unavoidable. Keith desperately wanted to finish their third generator, but there was no way he'd be able to complete it and not take a hit. The silent footsteps barely gave Lance's location away; it was Keith's and Pidge's frantic heartbeats that told them when the beast was near. The pounding in his ears told Keith that he was in danger, even if he didn't know consciously. Something about this dimension gave them a sixth-sense, the notes told them. A way to stay alive easier.

Keith swore under his breath and ripped himself away from the generator, sprinting off with Pidge as Lance screamed and swung in the exact place that Keith was moments before. Keith could hear the groans that poured out of Lance's mouth, like a dying man's last breathes only extended for eternity. It made Keith wonder if Lance was in pain while chasing them, but he couldn't afford to feel sympathy at a horrible time like this; not while Lance was trying to kill them and sacrifice them to a fucking tentacle-spider demon. 

The harsh beating of his heart only seemed to quicken as he and Pidge split off in a vain attempt to confuse their purser, and with only a second-long glance Keith choked on his breath as he saw those piercing blue eyes staring right back at him. Lance's once soft brown skin was now cracked and near-pale, his lips chapped and ripped as he breathed heavily to let out sick moans. He was much taller than he was before; even alive he was a good 6'5", but now was a towering 7'6" if Keith guessed right. His shredded and bloodied cloak waved behind him as long and slender legs followed Keith's footsteps  _way_  too closely. The last thing Keith needed was Lance's sickle ripping into his back, but it seemed like that fate was unavoidable as if his pulse beat any faster he'd die of a heart attack. 

Lance suddenly let out an ear-piercing shriek and Keith himself flinched from the strong beam of a flashlight encasing them both. The human quickly zig-zagged away and gave his brother a grateful look as Lance clawed at his eyes desperately. Shiro flashed Keith an uneven smile as he easily caught up and they ran in a random direction together, relief filling them both as Lance's moaning slowly drifted away. When they were sure that they were safe Keith heaved a sigh and slumped down on the sickly sand, his back resting on a large rock they used for cover. Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder in sympathy, reading Keith's mind as they sat together in silence; the sound of crashing waves soothing them as much as the sight of Lance. Keith swallowed thickly as he finally caught his breath, tears clouding his vision again now that he had time to think. 

"I wish I went with him," Keith rasped, and Shiro nodded solemnly as Keith looked up at the cloudy gray sky. "I could've done something;  _anything_. It didn't have to end up this way."

"You didn't know," Shiro murmured. "He was supposed to just test against his father in court. No one expected  _this_." 

"I still could've been there to support him." Keith hissed.

"You had finals Keith. Lance forced you to stay so you'd pass."

"Lance  _died_."

"Keith I assure you, if anyone knew what would happen they wouldn't have let Lance into the jail cell. It was supposed to be his final goodbye to his last living family member. And we don't even know how long Lance had been under the influence of the... demon. He could've killed you too."

"He wouldn't have." Keith argued back, but Shiro already knew he had won as Keith looked away and sighed again. They knew they had to start running again when their hearts picked up, the two brothers making haste when suddenly the third and forth generators were popped. Pidge and Hunk were obviously still using their time wisely, and hopefully the generator that Keith was initially was working was still intact and they could get the fuck out of here-

_"Keith watch out!"_

Keith screamed as the sickle buried hungrily into his back, tearing apart his flesh in a single slash. He stumbled blindly ahead in agony, his mind focusing too much on the pain and not how to escape Lance. He choked back a sob as he leaped over a board that was already pulled down; most likely from Pidge or Hunk when they were working on the generators. It bought Keith some precious time as he heard Lance's groans while he stabbed his weapon furiously into the obstacle. Keith couldn't afford to be downed again, as he had been thrown on the hook twice before and been barely saved just in time the last hooking. In fact the only one who could possibly be hooked again was Shiro, who managed to pull himself off almost immediately Lance had left to hunt the others. 

Keith gasped desperately for breath as he limped, trying to hide behind walls but each time Lance seemed to know where exactly he was. He was getting ready to jump over a ledge when suddenly in the corner of his eye he saw Hunk and Pidge fearfully working on the last generator, no doubt hearing their heartbeats but deciding to keep working despite it. Keith knew at that exact moment that he had to lead Lance as far away from them as possible, hopefully even long enough for Shiro to open the door for everyone. Stifling another sob of pain, he wrenched himself to the left, adrenaline pumped through his veins as he put out a burst of speed to get more distance away from Lance. He thanked whoever the fuck was looking out for him when he heard his heartbeat pick up again, no doubt meaning that Lance was tunneling him. 

Keith hobbled as fast his could, but Lance was gaining speed quickly as momentum running was apparently a special ability of the Husk. Keith had a sudden and very stupid idea in his head, and before he could talk himself out of it he had stopped in his track and crouched, Lance howling in victory as he swung. Keith dived at the perfect moment, quickly standing up again and running away from Lance who seemed dumbfounded for a moment, the Husk staring straight ahead before snapping his head towards Keith again. The boy shivered as the painfully familiar eyes seemed to stare right into his soul, but he couldn't help but feel amazing after what he just pulled off. He had no time to celebrate however as the agonizing pain in his back reminded him that he was on even more limited time now, and the Husk's screaming indicated that he just royally pissed off Lance. His boyfriend was always competitive, Keith sourly thought as he jumped over another ledge to barely miss another swing.

The low howling of the last generator being activated flooded Keith with hope, tears springing up in his eyes as he shot off to the closest door he could sense. If things went to plan Shiro was already halfway done with opening the door and they'd all meet up to get out together. As long as he could outsmart Lance for a little longer, Keith could get medical attention once they got out of this hellhole. Maybe, just maybe, they would then hunt down that fortune-teller and force him to tell them the entire story and see if they couldn't help Lance in  _some way_.

"Keith! Keith! Come on!" 

Keith heaved as he saw Shiro furiously waving him over, Pidge and Hunk already through the door and their figures vanishing into the thick fog. Keith pleaded to his body to do anything but trip at this moment as he hobbled towards the door, Shiro nodding and dashing through the exit, fully confident that Keith was right behind him. And Keith was, he was not even a ten feet away from being free and out-

_"K-K-Keeeeith..!"_

That voice. It was choked and hoarse, but it was  _his_   voice. The voice that Keith loved and adored, the voice that Keith missed  _so damn much_ to the point that he had nightmares with nothing but that voice just barely out of his reach.

His feet faltered for just a second, and it proved to be his very undoing as he felt the sickle bury itself into the flesh of his shoulder, yanking him away from the exit and slamming him right into the arms of the Husk. Keith screamed and tried to furiously squirm out of the steel grip, but the arms barely budged as he felt himself being tossed over Lance's shoulder and dragged away. Keith's fists constantly beat against Lance's back, but it didn't seem to affect him at all as he continued to silently walk with perfect balance towards the edge of the beach. Keith sobbed as he felt himself being lifted up and the hook piercing into his shoulder; this was the end for him. He was going to be sacrificed to a spider demon that turned his boyfriend into a monster. Where would Keith's soul go, when he died? Was there a special place for the sacrificed? Or was this purgatory, and he just got a one-way ticket to hell? Keith let out a final choked sob as he clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the demon to finally rip him apart and be sated with his blood painting the ground and sky. 

 

Nearly five minutes passed with Keith awaiting his end, but the only pain he was feeling was still that damned hook holding his body in the air. His heart had long stopped beating, the only sounds were his labored breathing and Lance's silent rasps. Keith let out a small noise and cracked open an eye, only to connect eyes with Lance who stood patiently in front of him. His boyfriend seemed to be waiting for Keith to open his eyes as suddenly the Husk moved towards him, Keith flinching at the touch of Lance's clammy hands as they gripped his shoulders and pulled. Keith let out a pained wail as he was heaved off the hook, but he realized that almost as soon as he was set on the ground any pain he was experiencing was gone.

Hesitating, he tried to feel the hole that the hook would have left in his shoulder only to find sensitive skin, Keith letting out a small breath as he slowly lifted his eyes to meet Lance's again. The Husk almost seemed amused, and Keith watched as he lifted a hand to rest on Keith's chest. Keith gasped as the hand was warm, hesitating as he kept eye contact with Lance as he lifted his own arms towards his boyfriend. Tears sprung in his eyes as Lance let out a similar noise to a purr and leaned forward, and the two curled their arms around each other for the first time in ten years. Keith let out a choked sob as he felt warm blossom in Lance's body, as if Keith's touch had awakened something in the Husk.

"I missed you, you idiot." Keith whispered, shocked when he heard Lance's chuckle and his arms lightly tightening around his body.

"I missed you too." A clear, heart-wrechingly familiar voice blessed Keith's ears, and finally he let himself sob into his boyfriend's shoulder as he felt himself being picked up and held closely. Keith lifted his head to look into Lance's eyes again, and smiled widely as he sawn Lance's cracked grin and his stunning blue eyes shimmer with love for Keith. 

"Stay with me." Lance said softly, using a hand to wipe the tears from Keith's cheeks, and the boy didn't even hesitate before he nodded. The two embraced tightly again, Keith's arms looped around Lance's neck as his boyfriend held their bodies even closer. 

The slow creaking of the door closing echoed throughout the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't edit this sorry lol


End file.
